VClV J'EHD) : A'eic Farce hii IV. II. If'ilk/ns, entitled 
''THECOMLYir .^MSr 




^^. AMES' Seriesof 

i STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. 
P S 

fo5 5 



:\o. «T- 




FALSE FRIEND, 



:[ DIMM A, 
T^ THRKE ACTS, 

— r.Y - 

a. S. VAUTROT, 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND EXITS RELATIVE 

POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE DE^ 

^^"^fcRIPTWN OF COSTUME, AND THE WHOLE ok 

THE STAGE BUSINESS, AS PERFORM' 

ED AT THE PRINCIPAL AMER- 

ICAN AND ENGLISH 

THE A TRE& 



A n ANfK-^. PUl'.r.tSHKll, 



^M^^^^^^mM^'Mi^^^ 





Class _E^_iL3_5_ 
Book .Z 3 VJ5_8^ 
GofPghtN"^ 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



THE FALSE FRIEND, 

A DRAMA 



IN TWO ACTS, 
— BY — 

/ 
GEO. S. A. VAUTROT, 



WITH A DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMKS, CAST OF THE CHARACTERS, 
RELATIVE POSITION OF PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, ENTRANCES 

AND EXITS, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 
"* A s performed at the principal American and English Theatres. 



G^fl^D 



Kespectfully dedicated to the Arcadian Dramatic Club of Mobile, Ala. 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the yeaiJL^^i^lf --' 

A. D. AMES, ~- 

In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, 



CLYDE, OHIO : 

A. D. AMES, Publisher. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 



^(•b^ 






CHARACTEHS: 



Charles Hall id ay An English Gentleman, 

William Marlborough A Villain. 

Pat O'Brien An Irish Servant* 

Sir Eobprt Lancaster 

Ben Harris A Villain — Tool of Marlborough. 

Jim Lynx The Detective. 

Rose '. Niece of Sir Robert. 



SCENE— England. 



TIME— The Present. 



COSTUMES— Modem. 

^— TMP92-007456 

Time of performance — One hour and forty-five minute*. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 



ACT I. 

SCENE FIRST — A handsomely furnished room at the residence of Sir Rob- 
ert Lancaster. Sir Robert discovered v., reading a newspaper. Table B., 
chairs, etc. Bell on talk. 

Sir R. Ah, here it is! (reads) "The good ship, Excelsior, left New 
York on the ISth. Among the ]iassengers was an Englishman, who had 
went to America to see the grand Centennial." Now if I am not wrong, I 
know who this young Englishman is. {looks over the paper) No news ! 
Bah, these papers are becoming worse and worse. Let me see to-day is the 
28th, it will not be long before this young Englishman will arrive, {knock 
outside, c. ) Come in. 

Enter William Marlborough, c, comes down to r. 

Will. Good morning. Sir Robert, reading the morniiig news I see. Has 
any great event transpired during the last twenty-four hours? 

Sir R. Nothing of very much note. I see that a certain young English- 
man is on the way to England. Do you know who it is? 

Will, (aside) Curse him ! (aloud) It must be Charles Halliday. 

Sir R. Right, my boy, right I 

Will. He Mill be here soon ? 

Sir R. Yes, in a few days. 

Will. I shall be glnd to see him. 

Sir R. I am delighted to hear you say so, for I feared that owing to some 
cause, there was a — a — well, a kind of coldness between you. 

Will. Oh, no, nothing of the kind. No occasion for any ill feeling be- 
tween us. 

Sir R. Ah ! I merely thought that Rose 

Will. Beg pardon, but how is vour charming niece, this morning? 

Sir R. A little tired. The effects of the ball last night. 

Will. Indeed ! Can I see her for a few moments? 

Sir R. IS o, and I'll tell you why. She told me she would not be at 
home to any one, and as she is mistress here, that ends the matter. Call 
this evening. 

Will. This is really a disappointment. 

Sir R. Anything important ? 

Will. No — CO ! Nothing very particular. I will, as you suggest, call 
this evening. Good morning. Sir Robert, good morning. (exit c. 

Sir R, 1 wonder what could have been his business with Rose ? I don't 
half like that fellow, but — well, well ; he is probably good enough in his 
way. 

Enter Rose, r. 

Rose. Dear uncle, who was that gentleman I saw leaving the house ? 



4 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Sir JR. Mr. William Marlborough. I should have thought you Trould 
have recognized him, Rose. 

iJo.se. I only saw him as he passed through the gate. 

>SVr M. He called to see you. 

Hose. Did he leave f»ny message for me ? 

JSir H. None. He said he would call and see you in the evening. I 
have some letters to write in the library, and will leave you. {exit l. 

Hose. Dear uncle, how kind he is to me. If it were not for him, I would 
not have a shelter over my head. Left an orphan as 1 was without money, 
Iriends, or a home, everything was dark and desolate for me. I remera- 
beredmother having told me of her brother, who had disowned her because 
she had disgraced the family by marrying a man beneath her in station, 
but whom she loved. I wrote to him, but it was with lear, for I thought 
that as he had disowned the sister, he would not recognize her child. But 
what a surprise for me, when the answer came, inviting me to share his 
home, expressing regrets that he had so illtreated his sister, and that I 
should be to him as a daughter, {knock c.) Ah, I wunder who that can be \ 
Enter William Marlborough, c. 

Will. Excuse me, Miss Rose, I thought that I should find Sir Robert 
here. 

Rose. Be seated. Uncle will be here presently. {he sits, r.. Rose, h. 

Will, {looking at paper) Did you notice this item of news ? It will be of 
much interest to you. Charles Halliday will soon be home. 

Rose. Indeed ! That is good news. 

Will. You seem to be very much pleased. Miss Rose. 

Rose. So I am. He has been absent four months, and I am always 
pleased to see any of my friends. 

Will. Mr. Halliday is a very dear friend, I believe — in fact, something 
more. 

Rose. You are impudent, sir. He is a friend, nothing more. 

Will. No intentions of giving offense, but i am very much pleased to 
hear you say so much, as i know he does not care for you. 

Rose, {half vexed) It does not matter to me whether he cares for me or 
not. 

Will. Are you in earnest? Oh, Rose ! if you v/ould only l^ok upon me 
as your lover 

Rose, {laughing) For shame I shame I {lauahing, exit l. 

Will. Curse her, she's laughing at me. That she loves Halliday, there 
can be no doubt, but he shall never have her. I have set my mind on the 
possesion of this girl, and I will have her, by fair means if passible, if not 
—well I am not the man to be thwarted in my designs. 

Enter Sir Robert, l. xcith hat, coat and cane. 

Sir R. Ah ! "William, Rose informed me that you were here. How 
would you like a stroll over my grounds ? 

Will. Delighted to accompany you. 

Sir R. Well, come on then. 

Will, {aside) I may learn more of this rival, {after putting on hat) Lead 
on, I am ready. {exit, talking, c. 

Enter Rose, l. 

Rose, {picks up paper) Yes, here it is ! He's coming back. I'm so glad. 
I do like him — no one hears me and I can say so, now. He has never 
eaid anything to me of love, and Mr. Marlborough says he regards me 
only as a friend — but he has shown me su many little attentions, that I — I, 
O, pshaw! Well I don't care — He promised to write to me, and he has not 
done it. I think he is real mean, so I do. I don't care one bit for him, 
and if he says anything to me when he comes, I'll snub him. {reads the 
paper) Yes, he is coming. How I wish he was here now. I don't care to 
Bee him very much, anyhow. {kisses the paper, — sceyie closed in. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 5 

BCENE SECO'^V—Landscvpe in 2d grooves. 
Enter Fat O'Brien , l, 

Pat. Och, may the divil fly away wid me, but I'm the lonesomest, au' 
hungriest boy that ever wer seen. Here am I, Pat O'Brien, jest landed in 
England from the ould sod, niver a ha'penny in me pocket, an' divil a 
taste of supper or breakfast have I had. Och, bad luck to the day I iver 
made up me mind to leave the ould country, [xcipes his face on jacket sleeve) 
Bad cess to the mon whoever he was that said: "Live humble, an' you'll 
be happy." The blundering baste, he niver had say-breeze fer supper, 
an' nothin' for breakfast ; the ould sinner, if I only had him here, {flour- 
ishes stick) Well, never mind, I must be up an' goin' for I must have 
Bomethin' to ate, an' the divil I care how 1 get it, so I get it. {looks off R.) 
There's a house beyont, perhaps I may yet get a male, who knows ? (%tarts 
K., stops, listens) Some one's comin' this way, mayhaps 'tis robbers. 'Tis 
a moighty foin thing for ye, Pat O'Brien, that ye left yer money at home, 
or ye moight be aftherlosin it. {turns, looks l.) Who the divils this chap 
anyhow ? 

Enter Ben, l. — he is in deep thought 
To o' the mornin' to yer honor 1 

Ben. (starts) Bless me — Who are you fellow ? 

Pat, An' it's long life to yer honor, but I'm a poor wanderin' Irishman, 
on the lookout for somethin' to do an' somethin' to ate. {aside) But more 
for somethin* to ate. 

Ben, So you want something to do? 

Bat. Yis, yer honor. 

Ben, Let me see, you are not afraid of a little danger, are you? 

Pat. Is it foightin' ye mane ? 

Ben. Well, there may be something in that line. 

Pat. {flourishes stick) Then I'm the bye for ye. I'd rather foight than 
ate, 85 I would. 

Ben. {aside) I may have use of thia fellow, so I'll {aloud) Well Pat, 

a friend of mine was talking to me the other day, and he said that he 
would want some one to work for him, but did not say when; so I'll see 
him again, and if he is in need of any one, I'll recommend him to you. 

Pat. Long life to yer honor, may yer honor's shadder niver grow less, 
an' may bad luck follow ye all yer life 

Ben. What's that you say ? 

Pat. (bows) But niver overtake ye. 

Ben. {aside) These Irish have the queerest way of wishing one good 
luck, that ever was heard of. 

Pat. If yer honor would only spake a good word for a poor bye, I'd 

Ben. Oh, never mind ! if my friend does need you, he'll give you a good 
round sum for what will have to be done. 

Pat. But yer honor, d'ye know what koind of work it is your friend 
■wants me to do ? 

Ben. 1 do not. He did not say. 

Pat. I hope he's in a hurry, for I want to make me fortin*. 

Pen. How are you going to make your fortune? 

Pat. Didn't yer honor say that if this friend of yours wanted me, he 
would give me a good round sum of money ? 

Ben, I did. 

Pat. Then yer honor, as anything round is without an ind, a round sum 
of money, manes money without ind. 

Ben. That is very good logic. 

Enter Will, L, 

Will. I've got rid of {sees Pat and Ben) Hello! Ben, my boy tow 

do you do? 

Ben. First rate, Will, and yourself? 



6 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Will. So, so, (a-v'de to Ben) Who 13 this fellow? 

£en. (ditto) A poor Irishman, who want's work. 

Will, (to Fat) Good day, mv friend, 

Tat. Same to you, sur. 

Will. My friend says that you are in want of employment. 

Pat. No sur. 

£cn. "What. 

Pat. !No sur. I want somethin' to do, an' somethin* to ate. 

Will, (laughs) Why, that 13 what I meant. 

pat, I ax yer pardin, sur. 

Ben. Don't you think you could give him something to do, Will ? 

Will. I might have use for him in a couple of v.-eeks. 

Pat. So thin ve have nothin' fer me to do at prisent ? 

Will. I believe not. 

Pat. Thin I'll not hire ye fer my master. 

Will. Kone of your insolence, fellow. 

Pat. Eh ! 

Ben. Come, come, "Will don't quarrel. ( Will looks savagely at Pat 

Pat. Arrah, ye may look, an' ye'll not say anyihin' ; but if 1 give ye 
one with this {skov:s stick) bit ov a stick, ye'll see stars. 

Ben. (Will seems about to advance) Come with me, Will, I wish to talk 
with you. (.they exit E. 

Pat. I don't like thira chaps, at all. They're afther no good, or me 
name's not pat O'Brien, (starts to follow them — stcp» — turns around) Who, 
the divil is that comin' up the road, (looking l.^ By me soul, he looks like 
some young lord. I'll wait, he moight want soii^e one — (looks — starts) By 
the powers he's got a carpet-sack in his hand — Well,Pat O'Brien's not above 
carryin' baggage. 

Enter Charles Ilaliday l, 

(holds out hand to take it) Carry yer baggage, yer honor? 

Chas. Yes, my good fellow, I am rather weary, so you may carry it if you 
please. 

Pat. How much further have ye got to go. I have not had my break- 
fast yet. 

Chas. Do you see that house over yonder ? (points ■&.) There is where I 
live. Come, I will pay you, and give you something to eat. 

Pat. ISIany thanks, yer honor,"but — but — 

Chas. Well. 

Pat. Wouldn't yer honor be afther wantin' a smart boy, to do nothin'. 
I mean— that is— yis — Ooh, the diril ! what do I mean. 

Chas. I do not know, ray good fellow. 

Pat. I want a masther. 

Chas, You seem to be sn honest sort of a fellow, and — 

Pat. So I'll hire ye fer my masther. 

Chas. All right, 'catch hold of that baggage and follow me. (aside) I 
wonder if he can ? I'll try him. (aioud) Can you keep a secret. 

Pat. (drops sack — puts hands in pockets) Kin I kape a secret ? 

Chas. Yes. 

Pat. Well, listen yer honor, an' judge fer yerself. When I started to 
this counthry Pat Mahoney, he come to me, he did, an' says he to me, says 
he, "Pat, I've somethin' to tell ye." "Ye hev ?' says I to him. "Yis," 
says he. '<Thin," says I to him, says I, "let 'er rip my bye." ''You're the 
chap I took ye for" says he. 

Chas. What has all that got to do with your keeping a secret? 

Pat. Howld, OH yer honor. Thin says 1 to him — 

Chas. Well, never mind your "says I's" I'll try you. Pick up the bag- 
gage and come along. 

Pat. Lord, I'll have me breakfast, so I wilL {exeunt b 



THE FALSE FBIEND. 7 

^5 they go of, enter Will and Ben b. 3 b. 

Ben. So, then, you apprehend trouble from this fellow? 

Will. I do. 

Ben. Do you think the girl loves him. 

Will. Yes. 

Ben. And you are certain that the old man is better pleased with him 
than with you ? 

Will. I think so. 

Ben. The case looks a little bad for you, I must admit. Give me an in- 
troauction to the girl for perhaps I can aid you. 

Will. All right, this afternoon about three o'clock. 

Ben. All right good day. 

Will. Good-bye Ben. {exit Ben l. 1 e.) There goes a fellow who fears 
neither God nor man. I hate him ; but nevertheless, must appear other- 
wise, for I may have some other work for him to do, and then well^ no 

matter, [looks off l.) Why, as I live, here comes Charles Haliday. I'll 
wager fifty pounds, he is just arrived and that he is going to make a call on 
Rose. 

Enter Charles, l. Will meets him. 

Why, how do you do old boy. Glad to see you. {shake hands) You look ex- 
tremely well. 

Chas. Thank you You seem to be enjoying good health also. 

Will. Why, yes, never was in better health. When did you arrive? 

Chas. About an hour ago. 

Will. And out so early ? 

Chas. Yes, riding in those cars is very tiresome. 

Will. Oh, you sly dog, own up, you are going to call on Miss Rose, are 
you not ? 

Cfias. Well — yes — I thought I should. 

Will. I tell you what, old fellow, you would hardly know her, she has 
improved so much in the last three months. I am in and out at all times, 
in fact I am rather priviliged. {aside) I wonder how he'll like that? 

Chas. {striving to conceal his emotion) When will the happy event take 
place ? 

Will. Well, you see Eose and 1 haven't as yet 

Chas. Oh 1 I see, allow me to — to — to — {choking down his agitation) con- 
gratulate you. {shake hands 

Will. Thank you. I may look upon you as a friend in this matter, may 
I net? {Charles nods his head) Thank you. Am sorry that I cannot stay 
to talk with you any longer, so adieu, {aside) I don't think he'll call on 
Miss Rose now. 

Chas. Good day. {looks at Will as he goes off R.) Home at last ; but 
what is home to me now? Home, that pleasant, that most precious of 
places— it has turned into one of the most desolate of deserts — The one 
whom I thought to woo and win, has been won by another. He did not 
wish to give me pain ; but Oh ! Will, will, you have struck a dagger to my 
heart, that has dashed to the ground all my bright hopes of the future. 
{excitedly) I love her better than I do my life, and she well {calms him- 
self ) she is not to he hlsuned. I'll not call on Rose this evening. I'll 
wait until to-morrow evening. {Rose sings outside) Surely, I know that 
voice. 

£nter Eose, l., singing, loith basket in her hand— sea Charles— stops. 

Why, Rose — Miss Hazelwood, do you not know me. 
Rose, {starts) Why, Cha— Mr. Haliday— you— surprised me, so that— 

Chas. Miss Hazelwood, I am very glad to have met you, as I was just on 
my way to your uncle's house. 



8 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Mose. I am very glad to see you back again, Mr. Haliday. 

Chas. Won't you shake bands ? 

Hose. Why, yes, certainly, {shake hands) 

Chas. May I be allowed to accompany you to your home, Miss Hazle- 

"WOnd ? 

Jiose. Miss Hazlewood ? It used to be Miss Rose, Mr. Haliday, 

Chas. If I may be permited to call you by that dea — name. 

Hose. Certainly you can. 

Chas. And with you it was Mr. Charles. 

Hose, If you like it so, Mr. Charles, so be it. 

Chas. I am told that Mr. Marlborough is quite a frequent visitor at your 
uncle's house, Miss Rose. 

iJose. Yes, he calls once in a while. 

Chas. I was told that he was a constant visitor. 

Hose. He was there this morning early ; but it was to see uncle on some 
business, (aside) Isn't he just splendid? 

Chas. (aside) I wonder if she does care for Will ! 

Hose, (aside nervously) 1 wonder if he does care forme! 

Cfcas. (aside) 1 don't know what in the world is the matter of me. 

Hose, (aside) I do wish he would say something to me. 

Chas, (aside) If she doesn't say something presently, I shall run away. 

Hose, (aside) 1 feel just like a fool. 

Chas. (aside) I wish somebody would come 

Enter, Pat, R. 

and'kick me. 

Hat. Faith, an' it's meself '11 do that same. (Hose and Charles start — 
Hose with a slight scream) 

Chas- Why, Pat, how you startled me. 

Pat. An' yer honor would have started worse than that ; if I had done 
as ye wanted me, so ye Avould. 

Chas. How was that? 

Pat. Shure, did yer honor say that ye wished 

Chas. Never mind, Pat. 

Hose. I am ready to go home, Mr. Charles. 

Pat. Och, the divil, I begs yer pardon, marm, I won't — 

Chas. That's all right, Pat. 

Hose. I am sure your friend meant no harm Mr. Charles. 

Pat. (aside) Look at that now, she takes me for me own masther's 
friend. 

Chas. Why, Miss Rose, this man is my — 

Fat. That's so, me iady, I am his sarvant, so please ye me lady, (bows) 
and I am his friend too, so I am. 

Hose. I know that ,; but I — I — I — 

Pat. It's all right, me lady, I accept yer apology. 

Chas. Shall we go, Miss Rose? 

Hose, Yes, I am quite ready. 

Chas. I will be home presently. (they exeunt, r. 

Pat. Och, but what a purty gal. Och, masther darlin', yez are done for. 
One look o' thim purty 03'^es, will knock a hole clane through yer shirt — I 
iiiane yer heart : so that a four-in-hand, wid the driver an' meself moight 
dhrive daue through, an' niver touch aither side, so they will. I know 
how it is meself. Didn't Judy O'Callaghau hit meself, Pat O'Brien, one 
look of her eyes, an' where was I? JSowhere at all, 'till found meself 
in the guther j but how the divil I was afther gittin' there, I cant tell. 

Enter Sir Hobert and Will. 

Who the divil, is thim two? I'm atther thinkin' I'd bether lave the coun- 
thry. \exit 

Sir. R. You astonish me, sir. 



THE FALSE FlilE^D. 9 

Will. I assure your lordship, it is a fact. The poor girl's brother came 
over in the same ship with hjm ; but he was bound by a protniao to his sis- 
ter not to har7ii him. 

Siy R. I can hardly believe this of Charles. 

Will. My friend, Mr. Harris, will substantiate all 1 say. 

Sir J{. Where is this friend of yours. 

Will. He is mostly in town -, but he is at my house to-day. 

Sir R. You must bring him up with you, the next time you come. 

Will- I am very much obliged to your honor, (looks off, l.) "Why, 
bless my soul, 'talk of the — ' Here he comes now. He is one of the best 
friends, I ever had. 1 did him a small favor once, and he is one of 
those grateful chaps, you know, and insists on never being able to repay, 
and all that sort of thing. 

Enter Ben, h. 
How do you do Ben. 

Ben. Good day, Will. 

Will. Sir Robert, my friend, Mr. Benjamin Harris. 

J3en. Happy to make your lordship's acquaintance. 

Sir R. The same to you, sir. Gentlemen, will you not walk up to the 
house with me ? 

Will. I would be pleased to my lord, but my friend and I have some 
business to attend to, which cannot be poi?tponed. 

Sir R. I was thinking of inviting you to dine with me ; but as you 
have business to attend to, I suppose that I will have to forego the pleasure. 

Will. Yes, my lord, for the present. With your permision however, 
we will call ab ut five, this atternoon. 

Sir R. Certainly, come by all means. Good day gentlemen. 

Will. I Good day, my Lord. , ., „. „, , 

Ben. \ -" •' (exit, ^ir Robert, r. 

Will. I am glad that you came up, because, now that you have had an 
introduction, you can go with me a little bolder than you otherwise could. 

Ben. Yes, although as you know, I am bold enough for most any thing. 

Will Yes, you are. I don't believe, outside of those reporters for the 
news papers, that there is any one who has more assurance than you. 

Ben. There's right where I learned it, old boy. I was at one time sensa- 
tional writer for the 'London Times.' 

Will. Then, that accounts for it. 

Ben. Yes ; but by the way, have you seen that Irishman? 

WilL No, 1 have not. 

Ben. I would like very much to get him into my service. 

Will. I don't know but what it is better to do without him, for these 
Irish are so confounded honest, that unless they are pitted against an ene- 
my, they will not do a mean action. 

Ren. That is so. (looks, r) But who is this, coming. 

Will. That, why, bless my soul, that is the young man of whom I was 
speaking. Observe him closely. 

Enter Charles, b. u. e. 

Chas. Why, Will, old boy, here again ? 

Will. Yes, I was on my return home, when I met Sir Robert— he has 
just left us. 

Chas. I have not seen his lordship as yet. 

Will. Mr. Haliday, my friend, Mr. Harris. 

C%as. (shake hands) Happy to make your acquaintance, Mr. Harris. 

Sen. Same to you. 

Will, Have you seen Rose, Charles? 

Cilaw. Yes, she came along just after you left, and we walked up to the 
house together. 

Will. You didn't say anything to her about what I said, did you ? 



10 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Chas. No, and neither will I. 

Ben. You don't eeem to be in the best of spirits, Mr. Haliday. 

Will. Perhaps, Ben, he has left a sweetheart behind him. 

Chas. No, my friends, 1 havn't any sweetheart, that I know of. 

Will. Oh ! that won't do, Charles, you were always a gre at favorite 
among the ladies, and I am willing to wager any amount, that you have 
brought some darling belle's heart with you, across the ocean. 

Chas. If I have I am ignorant of the fact. 

Will. Charles, will you not favor us wiih your presence, at dinner? 

Chas. I am much obliged ; but will have to decline. 

Ben. I am sorry, as 1 should like to cultivate the acquaintance so happily 
begun. 

Chas. Thank you, Mr. Harris ; but it is impossible, as 1 have business 
this evening which cannot be postponed. 

Will. I am soRry, Charles ; but another time, my dear fellow. 

Chas. Some otiier time I will be most happy to accept your kind invita- 
tion. 

Will. When shall we see you again ? 

Chas, To-morrow. 

Will. Well, good-bye, for the present. 

Ben. Good evening, Mr. Haliday. 

Chas. Good evening, gentlemen, {exeunt Ben and Will, vs..) 01 William 
Marlborough, I could hate you, it it were not that I love Rose so well. 
You have hinted to me that you two are lovers. I hardly believe it; but 
why should it not be true ? A fpw short mouths will change the destiny 
of an emperor : much more that fickle thing, a woman's heart. But then. 
Rose and I were not looked upon as lovers. But I — pshaw, pshaw I'll be a 
man and will not let the world see that I suffer, {exit l. 

CURTAIN. 



SCENE THIRD— /S'«me as scene frst. 

Enter Sir JRobertf c. 

Sir R. Ah a man feels much better after eating a good dinner, it is my 
belief, that under the sun, there is nothing which raises a man's spirit like a 
good, solid dinner, with a bottle of good old port. I wish that William 
and Ben had been with me, I do so enjoy company at dinner. To be sure, 
Rose is lively ; but she was not the same, to day. I wonder what could 
have been the cause, {looks at watch) It is very near the time that Wil- 
liam and his fritnd should be here. 

Enter Bose, c. 
I wonder where Rose can be. 
J2o.se. {rims fonvard and seats herself hy Sir Bobert) Here I am, uncle. 
Sir B. Oh ! you sly puss, listening to me, was you ? 
Bosc. No sir, I merely overheard your last words, and answered them. 
Sir B. You like your* old uncle, do you not Rose. 
Bose. Like you, that is not the word. 1 love you uncle Robert. 

Sir B. Thank you, my dear girl. I treated your dear mother 

Bose. Do not talk of that uncle, let by-gones be by-gones. 

Sir B. As you say, Rose. 

Bose. Oh I uncle, have you seen Mr. Haliday yet ? 

Sir B. No, 1 have not, and if what I ^ear of him is true, I do not wish 

see him. 

jRoSfi' Why, what has he done ? 

Sir -K. Nothing that I shall tell you j but rest assured that I shall make 



THE. FALSE FRIEND. ll> 

all diligent enquiries possible, and if I find that I have not been deceived, 
he shall never set his foot in this house again. 

Rose, (aside) ! my poor heart, (aloud) But uncle, you will give him 
a chance to defend himself? 

<SV?' H. What is he to you, that you should Speak in this manner? 

Hose. Nothing — he is nothing to me — only a. friend. 

Sir li. Rose, you have never deceived me, as yet : do not deceive me 
now. 

Hose. 1 have told you the (slops — throws herself on her knees, at Sir 

Robert's feet) Uncle, uncle, 1 love him. (sobs 

Sir J{. Come, come, Rose, it may not be as bad as I have been informed. 
I will as I said before, make every possible inquiry into the matter. 

Hose. But uncle, he may have enemies, who might wish to harm his 
character. 

Sir B. No, I do not believe that Charles has a single enemy in the world. 

Hose. Uh ! uncle, if you knew what it is to love, you would 

Sir JR. If I knew what it is to love* Ah 1 Rose, you have opened a 
wound that I thought healed many years ago ; but no matter. Calm your- 
self, and let's have a quiet talk. (Hose rises) 

Rose, (k.) Forgive me, uncle, I did not know 

Sir R. (c.) Say no more, Rose, I know that you "would not willingly, 
give your old uncle pain. 

Rose. But, what is this charge against Charles? 

Sir R. As to the accusation brought against him, it is not intended, that 
your ears should be offended by the recital of such a story. But, you love 
him? 

Rose. Yes, uncle, I love him. 

Sir R. Then you would not believe anything wrong of him. Does he 
love you? 

Rose. I — believe — he — does. 

Sir R. Has he said any thing to you yet. 

Rose. No sir- 

Sir R. Be careful, Rose, and do not let your heart run away with your 
head. 

Rose. You may rest assured that 1 will do nothing of which you will be 
ashamed ; but did you not say that Marlborough and a friend, were to visit 
you this evening? 

Sir R. I did. 

Rose. I (\o not like Mr. Marlborough. 

Sir R. Why not ? He is every inch a gentleman. 

Rose. He may be ; but he seems to me like a snake. When I look him 
in the eyes, it seems as if he were waiting an oportunity to injure me. 

Sir R. That is very foolish, (bell rings) There they are now: go and 
admit them, (exit Rose c.) So she is in love with the young rascal — that is 
bad. I would have it otherwise ; but what can't be cured, must be endured- 

Enter Ben, Will and Rose c. 
Ah! good evening, gentlemen. 

Will I ^°°^ evening. Sir Robert. 

Sir R. Mr. Harris, my niece 

Rose. Mr. Marlborough has already introduced us, uncle* 

Will. We are not behind hand, are we Sir Robert? 

Sir R. A few minutes ; but that doesn't signify. 

Rose, (aside.) I wonder why that man regards me so intently. 

Sir R. What is the matter of you, Rose j you don't seem to have any- 
thing to say. 

Rose, (starts) Why, uncle, I 



12 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Will. She is thinking, perhaps, of some dear one on the bosom of the 
deep. 

Ben. Or perhaps, of some one, who is so near and yet so far. 

Hose, (^anarilij) Uncle, I must 

Sir R. {lauyhi) Come, Rose, the gentlemen only mean a pleasant bit of 
railery. 

jRo.se {aside) I don't believe either of them have any claims to the title, 
of gentlemen. 

Sir R. Come, "Rose, you must forgive the young men. 

Rone. If they will i)romise not to offend again, I will. 

Sir R. What is the latest news, Mr. Marlborough. 

Will. Nothing, of much consequence, only that Mr. Haliday has re- 
turned from the United States. 

Sir R. Yes, so Rose was saying ; but why has he not called on me ? 

Will. He sfiid that he would have to call on an auut ot his, who lives 
some few miles from here. 

Sir R. Oh ! yes, I recollect. 

Will. You know she is immensely rich. 

Ben. And filial affection, and the desire to please the old lady, which in 
case of her 

Rose. It is no such thing, Mr. Haliday likes his aunt. 

Sir R. There you go again. Rose. 

jRo.se. Well, uncle you know that I always defend the absent. 

Will. Especially, when the absent one has the honor to be Mr. Faliday. 

jRo.se* Not any more than every one else, sir. 

Sir R. Come, come, you young pe .pie will be quarreling again. 

Ren. I assure you. Miss Rose, we were joking. 

Rose. I don't admire such jokes. 

Will. Miss Rose, you young ladies are so ])eculiar, that w^e poor fellows 
do not Know how to please you ; when we get up a joke on some one who is 
absent you take it in earnest. 

jRose. You will please excuse me gentlemen, I must retire for 1 have 
not studied my music lesson, as yet. 

Will- Let the music alone for this one time, Miss Rose. 

Rose. No, I cannot, so good evening, gentlemen. 

0>nnes. Good evening. (exit c. 

Sir R, Well, my boy, have you heard any more about that young fellow 
of whom we were speaking this morning ? 

Will. I have not; but Ben has. 

Sir R. Well then, Ben — if you will allow an old man to call you so. 

Ben. Certainly, your lordship. 

Sir R. I 8UV)pose you know to whom we have referance ? 

Ben. Yes, your lordship ; but then being almost an eatire stronger to all 
concerned, I would rather not speak. 

Sir R. That does not make the slightest difference in the world. 

Ben. lean, then, with all due honesty, vouch for everything that Mr. 
Marlborough has said. 

Sir R. And you can take me to this young man ? 

Ben. I can my lord. 

Sir R. When will you do so? 

Ben. To-morrow, if your lordship desires. 

Sir R. It is my desire to know the lull particulars, as soon as possible. 

Ben. It shall be as you wish, my lord. 

Will. Come Ben, it 'is getting late, and time that we should go. {^they rise 

Sir R. What time shall I meet you? 

Ben. Say, about nine o'clock. 

Will, {at centre) Good night, Sir Robert. 

Sir R. Good night, Will. 

Ben. Good night, your honor. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 13 

Sir E. Good night, (exeunt Ben and Will, c.) I can hardly believe this 
tale about Charles, he was always such an honest young man; but then, 
who knows what kind of company he kept, while in America. They say, 
those Americans are very loose iu their morals, {knock) Who can that be, I 
wonder, (knock) Come in. 

Enter Fat c. 
Why, bless my — Who are you ? 

Pat. [boios — takes off hat — puts it on again.) Och 1 bad luck to these roads. 
Bay I. 

Sir R. What do you want? 

Fat. Shure, an* its one, Sir Robert Lancaster, that has a purty gal 
named Rose Hazywood, that I'm afther foindin'. 
Sir R. Then I am the one that you are looking for. 

Pat. Then this is what I want to give ye. {hands note — while Sir Robert 
reads, he looks around the roovi.) 

Sir R. {reading) "Dear Sir: As you are aware by this time, that I have 
reached home safely, and think, no doubt, that it is strange I have not 
called on you, I beg to be excused, as I have just returned from a visit to 
my aunt. With your permission I will call to-morrow. Yours, &c., ChaS. 
Haliday. (places note on table) He will, with my permission, call to-mor- 
row. Well, perhaps it will be the last time I will give him my permission. 
{seats himself at table — reads as he writes) "Mr. Charles Haliday, Dear Sir: 
Your note has just come to hand ; will be delighted to see you. Yours, Ac. 
RoBKRT Lancaster, {folds note) Here Pat, here is the answer — take it to 
your master. 

Pat. Ail right, your honor, {takes off hat, puts note in it, puts hat on 
head) It'll go through all safe. {starts 

Sir R, Look here, Pat. {Pat comes back) Where is your hat? 
Pat. {clasping hands on head) It's on me head, where it ought to be. 
Sir R. That is not where it should be. 
Pat. {astonished) Not where it ought to be? 
Sir R. No sir. 

Pat. Shure thin, ye don't want me to wear it on me feet, dy'ef 
Sir R. No sir, I do not. 

Pat Thin, where the divil, ought it to be ? 

Sir R, You should never keep your hat on, while in a gentleman's parlor. 
Pat. An' how the divil, was I to know you's a gintleuian? 
ibir R. Get out of my nouse you impudent booby, {advances on Pat, who 
exits, c.) That infernal Irishman does not seem to know anything. If I had 
him around me, I would break every bone in his body. {exit c. 

Enter Rose, L. 
Rose. I thought I heard uncle talking with some one ; but must have 
been wrong, (.sees note on table) Ah ! what is this ? — the writing is familiar — 
there can be no harm in reading it. {readmit) Oh, I am so glad Charles is 
coming up to-morrow, {knock) Dear me who is that? {kvock) I suppose I'll 
have to go and see who it is. {goes to door, very timidly and opens it) Why, 
good evening Mr. Haliday. 

Enter Charles, c. 
Chas. Good ^evening, Miss Rose. Is Sir Robert about, I wish to speak 
to him — iu fact lo offer him an apology. 
Rose. No sir, he aas just left the house. 

Chas. I am very glad of — v^at is — I mean — yes I — that is, I want to make 
an apology for the conduct of "my servant. 

Rose. So then, it was your servant, I heard with uncle? 
Chas. I sunp se so. He is an honest fellow; but fond of a joke. He 
must have made your uncle very angry, judging by what he just told me. 

Rose. I do not know. I thought I overheard some one here ; but it is of 
no consequence. 



U THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Chas. I am very sorrf this happened, because I know that Sir Robert 
has a violent temper, and when Pat told tue of the scene that transpired 
between your un(Ae and himself, tired as I was, I hastened here in the hopes 
of pacifying him. 

Rose. You n ed not fear any ill feeling towards you, on that account. 
Chas Miss Rose, I would like to ask you a question. 
Rose, \nervousiy) What is it? 

Chas. Are you — you (desperately) engaged to Mr. Marlborough? "^ 

.Rose. (in. astonishment) No ! AV ho in the world said I was ? 
Chas. Is be any tiling to you ? 
Rose. No ! What it he was, Mr. Curiosity? 
Chas. It would be a great deal to me. 
iJo.se. And why would it be ? 

Chas. {takes her hands) Because I love you, Rose, better than all the 
-world, and that without you, this world would be a dreary waste. 

Rose, {coqueiishly) Then 1 am afraid that this world will have to be a 
'dreary waste. 

Chas. {releasivg hands) Oh, Rose, Rose, my darling, do not mock rae. 
If you knew how your words pierced my heart, 1 am sure you would not 
have uttered them in that light manner. 

Rose. I am sure I did not intend to Avound your feelings. 
Chas. {folds arms) Rose, I had looked forward to thi.^ moment with the 
greatest pleasure — but — God help me to bear it. I may — I iim anwered — If 
ever you need a friend, send for Charles llaliday. Good bye. Rose — God 
.'bless you. {.'starts for door, c.) 

Rose, {watches him until he goes to open door) Charles ! 
Chas. {looks around) Did you call me Miss Hazlewood? 
i2o.se. No, 1 did not ; but where are you going ? 
Chas. 1 am going home. Good bye, Miss Hazel wood. 
iJo.se. Good bye, Charles. {goes to door 

Chas. Did you say anything. Miss Hazlewood ? 
Rose. "What was that you said a while ago ? 

Chas. 1 really don't know, {she looks him in. the face — he starts — grasps 
iher hands) Oh ! Rose, my queen, you love n»e ? 
Rose, {hides face on hi^ bosom) Yes, I do. 
Chas. And I may speak to your uncle, may I not ? 
Rose. Yes. 

Chas. Thank you, my pet. {looks at ivatch) Dear me, how time flies. 1 
should have been home long ago. I'll see you soon, again — at the first op- 
j)ortunity, and until then good bye. 

Chas. Good bye, Charlie. {Charles gets nearly to door) Charley 1 
Chas. W^hat is it my love ? 
iJo.se Didn't you forget something? 
Chas. No, I believe not. 
Rose. You believe not ? 

Chas. Ah, I see. {goes to her and kisses her) Now good bye, little sweet 

heart. ' {going 

Rose. Good bye, Charlie. ( Charles stops at door, c. — kisses his hand to her 

she replies to him in the same ivay — exit Charle.'i) He loves me and I have 

promised to be his Avife. Oh, I am too happy, too happy ! It seems more 
like some pleasant dream, from which, I may at any time awake. Oh, 
Ctiarlie ! If you knew how much I love you ; but I am afraid you will nev- 
er know it. I wonder what uncle will say? Suppose he should say no? 
But then I don't think he will. He would do most anything for his Rose — 
Ah ! 1 forgot, what did he mean by what he said this morning? I must 
find out what it was, and 1 will I I'll ask uncle again in the morning. Oh, 
^iear 1 I wish it were morning now. {exit, c. — scene closes — lights up 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 15 

SCENE THIRD — The outside of the tavern of the village of Exeter — Sigriy 
*' The Moyal George," *'Ale,^' "'porter," d^c, on house, r. — Enter Sir Robert, 
Will and Ben, l. 

Ben, This is the place, your honor. 

Sir R. But wteie is the man of whom you spoke? 

Ben. I do not see him, my lord. I'll go to the tavern, and see if he's 
within. 

WilL Yes, go Ben. {exit Btn to inn) This is rather a nice place, your 
honor? 

Sir R. Yes. You are sure that this young man, of whom you speak, is 
honest and truthful in what he says? 

Will. I think he is, your honor. \Vhat benefit would it be to him to tell 
such a story ? 

aS'iV R. Perha])S he might want to blackmail Cl)arles. 

Will. Wait until vour lordship sees him, then you can judge for your- 
self. 

Re-enter Ben. 

Ben. The young m«iu has been here ; but has gone again. 

Sir R. Did you learn where he had gone ? 

Ben. The landlord said he went down this street, about three minutes 
ago. 

Sir R. Then we will follow h;m, as I am most anxious to have this mat- 
ter settled, {exeunt, h. 

Enter Pat, r. 

Fat, 1 wondher, where the divil a mon kin git a glass o' whisky. Here 

am I wanderin' all over this blissid place, an' tlndin' none, {sees inn) By 

the powers, there's a tavern, may be it's a dacint dhrink, I kin git in 

there. {exit to inn 

Enter Charles, l. 

Chas. Yesterday, I was ready to curse the day that T arrived home ; but 
now, every thing has charged, Rose has promised to be ray wife, and it on- 
ly remains for me to gain her uncle's consent, and I think I can do that be- 
cause the old gentleman has always liked me. 

Enter Pat, from inn, 

Pat. That was an illigant dhrink o' — {sees Charles) — wather. 

Chas. Why, I'at, how is it you are down here so early ? 

Pat. You see, yer honor, I am an early riser, an' I thought I would just 
take a walk before breakfast, yer honor. {wipes mouth 

Chas. Now, see here, Pat, I want you to tell me the truth. 

Pat. Shure, masther, an' it's mesilf niver told a lie, in the whole course 
o' me life. 

Chas. Why do you come out of the tavern, and wipe your mouth in the 
way you do. 

Pat. Shure, your honor, the long walk that I took made me dhry. 

Chas. And you went in there to get a drink of whisky ? 

Pat. No, yer honor, it was only wather. 

Chas. Yes, fire water. 

Pat. Divil a bit o' fire did I see, anyways. 

Chas. Well Pat, it is time we are going home. 

Pat. All right, yer honor, {exit Charles l.) What the divil moight he be 
afther doin' down here, so airly. May be it was afther a dhrink o' ivather, 

he was, an thin, may be it's afther a dhrink o' {looks l.) Who's this, 

anyway ? {goes to l. 3 u. k.) It's the ould man, who tried to kick me out o' 

house, the other right, an' thim two fellows wid him. They sha'n't see mo 

here. {exit u 3 k. 

Enter Sir Robert, Will and Ben — Sir Robert iji a passion. 

Will, Do you believe the story now, my lord ? 



16 THE FALSE FRIEJ^D. 

Sir Jt. I do, I do ! and I thought Charles an honest man, that was above 
reproach ; but I find tnat — 

Ben. I trust that your lordship will not be too severe with the young 
man, for your neice may — 

Sii' B. I shall most certainly order him out of the house, if he dares 
show himself there again. Good morning, gentleman. 

Will and Ben. Good morning, your honor. {exit Sir Robert, l, ti. k. 

Ben. The coast is clear, as far as Charles Haliday is concerned, if you 
can manage the girl. 

Will. Aye, if I can manage the girl, there's the rub. You say she is in 
love with Cbarles ? 

Ben. I am as certain of it as if she had told me so. 

Will' I am inclined to think so too; but it he has not declared himself, 
I may stand some chance. I hed a talk with him yesterday morning, and 
threw out some delicate hints, which he took. 

Ben. Ha, ha, ha ! Good — very good 1 

Will. I also had a talk with Rose, and I took good care to impress upon 
her that Haliday didn't care a snap for her. 

Ben. You shouldn't have done that ; but come, let's be going. 
Will, All right, come on. We will talk of this matter as we go. 

{exeunt l. 



SCENE FOURTH — Same as Scene second — Enter Ilose c. — takes seat — 
looks at watch. 

Rose. It is nearly time for Charley to come, (starts) Ah, a step I I am 
sure it is him. {goes to door, c.) Good evening, Charlie. 

Enter Charles, c. 

Chas. {shake hands) Good evening, little sweetheart. How do you find 
yourself this evening? 

jRosc Oh I I am in splendid spirits. 

Chas. "Where is your uncle. Rose. 

Rose, Why — do you wish to see him ? 

Chas. You know of what we were talking last evening ? 

Rose. Yes, I do ; but you needn't be in such a hurry, Mr. Impatience. 

Chas. I am not at all impatient, I merely wish him to know what mj 
intentions are, in regard to you; but then Rose, my dear — 

Rose. Hush ! I hear some one coming. 

Enter Sir Robert, c. 

Chas. Good evening. Sir Robert. 

Sir R. Good evening, sir. 

Rose, {aside) How snappish he is. 

Sir R. Rose you will please retire, I have some business with Mr. Hali- 
day, that requires immediate attention. 

Rose. As you please, uncle, {aside) He and Charles will have a quarrel 
I am sure. I'll remain close at hand to prevent mischief. {exit Rose, c. 

Chas. I am surprised. Sir Robert, that I should be treated in such a cool 
manner, especially by you, above all men. 

Sir R. And I am surprised that you, above all men, should be the vil- 
lain you are. 

Chas. You will have to explain yourself more clearly, sir. 

Sir JR. I will explain myself very clearly and distinctly, you infernal 

Chas. Hold ! Sir Robert. 

Sir R. I will not hold, you scoundrel, you viper, you — you— 
Enter Rose, xoho runs to her uncle. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. I7 

Jlose. What is the matter, uncle? 

SirR. {to Charles) Get out of my house, and never let me see your ac- 
cursed face in it again. •' 

Chas. Of what am I accused ? 

Sir R. You ask me— me, ot what you are accused '> 

Chas. I demand, nay I commnnd you to tell me of 'what I am accused 1 

Scr R. And I command you to ^-et out of my house, and never darken 
n^doors again, and above all. never under any circumstances speak to 

Rose. But uncle 

ouf ?' ^' ^"^^ ^"""^ ^'''"° ^"^ ^^^''^' """ '^"^^ ^ ''''^^ '^'' '^^''^"t« *o kick you 

Chas I go, Sir Robert. Good bye Rose. {husine.s ad Ubtiumfor Rose 

Sir R. \ou infernal ])uppy, never speak to Rose airain ' 

Chas. Old man, I trust that you will think of this, uiMi one day 1 may 
have a chance to right myself; as it is— (looks at Rose) Good bye. Rose I 
may never see you again, if not I^ Good dav Sir. /ga.// c 

Sir R. There, I have rid myself of that scoundrel! 

Rose. Uncle, uncle ! what have you done ? 

Sir R. I have just sent the most'uublushing scoundrel that ever was. out 
of my house. ' 

Rose. And you have done more than that. Oh, uncle if you knew— 

SirR. {nside) It is as I feared, she is in love with this fellow, and he wHh 
her. (aloud) \V hy are you weeping. Rose? 

iJo.se. Uncle, uncle, you have broken my heart. 

>Sir R. Then I'll have to mend it again. 1 have an offer for your hand. 

Rose. And pray, who from? •' 

Sir R. William Marlborough. 

Rose. I des{)ise the man ! 

Sir R. Come no nonsense, you must, must, I say— marry him 

Rose. Uncle, I do not love the man. 

Sir R, Who said anything about love— William is a gentleman and— 

Rose. So IS Charles. * 

Sir R. If ever I hear of you speaking to, or having anything to do with 
that man, m any manner whatever, out of the house you o-q. 

Rose, {hides her /ace in her hands) Oh, unele ! *' 

Sir R My mind is mpde up, either you m'arry William Marlborough 
within three months or back } ou go to where you came from. ( Rose sinks 
into a chair sobbcng) Do you hear ? 

Rose. Yes— I— tiear-^uncle {rises and sinks on her knees before Sir Rob- 
ert) Ask me to do any thing that a poor, frail woman can do, and I will do 
It; but for the sake ot the love you bore your mother, do not ask me to 
marry this man. 

SirR, {affected) Rose, Charles Ilaliday is a scoundrel: he is unworthy 
your love. ^ 

i?05-6. (rwe.s) W^ho told you he was a scoundrel ? Why did you not cive 
him an opportunity to defend himself ? The worst of criminals have a 
chance to speak tor themselves, while Mr. Haliday was denied the benefit 
of knowing or what he was accused . 

>Sfir^. (a.s(rfc) Sheistoomuchin love with the young rascal. I don't 
know but what I might have been too hasty, {knock) Come in 

Enter Will, c. 
Ah, how do you do, William, I am most happy to see you. 

Rose, {aside) I begin to suspect— With your permission, uncle, I will re- 
tire. 

V ^?J' J^y^'^^ ^^^^ ^^'^11 ^l^ow me to prevail upon her to remain, I should 
be delighted. 

Rose, {dignified) No sir. Miss Rose will rot allow herself to be prevailed 
upon — at least, not by you. ^ / •- 



IS THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Wtll, Sir Robert, I would speak to you concerning my marriage with 
your niece. Have you informed her? 

iSir R. I have. 

Will. Do you think she is in love with Haliday ? 

Sir R. {aside) I do believe it; but I'll not tell him so. {aloud) No, I— 
don't think she is. 

Will. What did she eay when you told her that she was to marry me? 

Sir R. She wanted time to think of it. 

Will. Well, the quicker she makes up her mind the better. Charles 
hasn't been here, as yet, has he ? 

Sir R. Yes, he was here ; but I ordered him out and have forbidden 
him the house. I place a great deal of confidence in you. 

Will. I fim pleased my lord that you have this confidence in me— I shall 
always try to deserve it. 

Enter Ben, c. 

Sir R. Why, how do you do, 1 had forgotten all about you. 

Ben. But I had not forgotten you, my lord, yiuinks at Will, loho nods) 
But 1 have more news. 

Will. What is it? 

Ben. Alter what has happened, 1 don't think I should speak. 

Sir R. \Vhat, some more work of that villain, Ilaliday. 

Ben. Yes, your honor, pretty much the same story as you heard this 
morning. 

Sir R. and Will- W^hat ? 

Ben. The poor young woman is in town, looking for Mr. Haliday. 

Sir R. The infernal scoundrel — can I see her ? 

Ben. You may by gomg to that address. {gives card 

Sir R. {reading) <'Mary "jones , Potter's alley, third door from corner of 
Pearl street." (puts card in pocket) I'll go at once. Good day, gentlemen. 

Ben and Will. Good day, your honor. {exit Sir R. 

Viill. How did you manage it? 

Ben. I found an old pal of mine, who for five pounds, will swear to any 
thing I wish her to. {laughing) If that tale did not spoil Mr. Haliday's 
chances, I think when Sir Robert hears the yarn that Molly Jones will 
spin, he Will be most completely satisfied. Let's go and tase something 
more congenial to my feelings. 

Will. All right, come and drink to my success in a bottle of champagne. 

{exeunt c. 
Enter Rose, r., agitated. 

Rose. My bright dream of happiness has been dashed away. All my 
bright visions have been — Oh, I must not think of it 1 Uncle says that I 
must marry William Marlborough, or go back to the poverty out of which 
he raised me ; but marry him I will not. I would die a thousand deaths, 
before I would sacrifice myself. Oh, Charles, Charles, my darling. Uncle 
has forbidden you the house — you are not to speak to me. Oh, cruel, cruel, 
fate I Uncle, uucLn 3'ou know not what you have done, {overcome with emo- 
tion — covers face with hands — looks up) 

Enter Pat, advances cautiously. 
I have a thousjht — 1 will write to him. Uncle told me that he would be 
absent from home this evening ; but who will I get to take the note ? 

Pat. {sees Rose about to retreat) Howly Moses 1 

Rose, (starts nervously) Who — what — what is it you want, my friend ! 
Pat. {embarrassed) Iwant — I want — you see mam, I — och, murther, what 
the divil's the matter wid ye, Patrick O'Brien ! 

Rose, {angrily) If you don't instantly leave the room, I will call my uncle 
to put you out ! 

Pat. An' if he does, the same thing might be afther happenin' to him 
again, {takes off hat — bows) I ax yer pardin, mam j but I belieye — that is, 
I will be crazy if I don't gather me siven senses. 



THE FALSE PEIENB. 19 

Ro&e, {aside) What in the world is the matter of the man? (aloud) What 
in the world can I do for you, my good man ? 

Fat. Faith, an' that's what I'm afther thiukin' about, mam. (pulls hand- 
kerchief Jrom hat— note drops— ivipes face— replaces handkerchief— puts hat on 
head) I am bothered iutirely, so I am. 

Rose. You have dropped something, 

Pat. So I have, (picks vp note— hands it to Rose) Eead me the outside 
kiver o' that billy-duck, will ye, mam. 

Rose, (reads) "Miss Rose Hazelwood." Why, this is for me. (starts to 
tear envelope — Pat grabs it ) 

Pat. Ilowld on a minute, me jewel, Vm not so sure about that, I a'n't. 

Rose, (eagerly) But it is for me. Rose Ilazelwood. 

Pat, (shakes head) I believe that was the name me masther said. Faith, 
an' I know it was somethin' about a Rose an' a wood ; but the divil a on© 
is it I remember. Say that name again, Miss, if ye plase. 

Rose. That is my name, Rose Ilazelwood. 

Pat. (in doubt) I don't know whether that was it or not. 

Rose, (lays her hand on his arm and looks winningly into his face) Yes, Pat, 
that is for me. 

Pat. (shakes head) Och, ye soft-soapin' little divil, ye, how did yc know 
me name is Pat ? 

Rose. I guessed it. 

Pat. Thin guess who this letter is from. 

Rose. From your master, Charles Haliday. 

Pat. Sure, I've come to the right market, (gives note to Rose) Hade 
away, me darlin' an' give me the answer. Shure an' I'm to have two holi- 
days all to mesilf, if I git back safe. 

Rose, (reading) "My Dearest Rose : After what has happened, I would 

not dare visit you again. I write you this, that 1 may bid you farewell" 

Oh heavens — "I must leave. I could not bear to see you, and not be able to 
speak to you. Good bye, Rose — one long sad farewell. Yours till . death, 
Charlks Haliday," (Rose folds note— clasps her hands) Oh, mother, mother, 
look down upon your daughter. (Pat uncovers head) Help me to bear thia 
burden, (to Pat) Did your master say when he was going to leave? 

Pat. Yis mam, day afther to-morrow. 

Rose. Then I will have time. Wait one moment, (seats herself at table 

writes) "Dearest Charles : Your note gives me pain, far more than mere 
words on paper can express. Uncle will be away from home this evening 
Your own Rose." (gives Pat folded note) Give that to your master — he'll un- 
derstand what'I mean. 

Enters Sir Robert c. 

Pat. Och, murther, here's the ould gintleman. 

Sir R. Why is this man in the house? 

Pat. I'll tell yer honor : I was — I was — 

Sir R. Get out of the house, you infernal Irishman, or I'll kick you out I 

Pat. An' in kickin' me out you moight be afther havin' the same troub- 
le you did afore. 

Sir R. What do you mean? 

Pat. I mane you're no gintleman, or you'd be afther kickin' Pathrick 
out o' yer dirthy parlor. {Sir Robert starts for him, exit, c, laughing — RosCf 
exits R. ) 

iStr R. What was that Irishman's motive in coming here. Rose? (sees she 
is not in) Why ! she has gone, I believe that infernal Irishman is the same 
one I attempted to kick out the other day. I must be going. Rose is aware 
that I will not be back until to-morrow, so I believe every thing is arranged. 

(exit G. 
Enter Charles, l. 

Chas. Where can she be ? Well, I did not send her word at what time I 
would come. Her uncle has forbidden my entering the house, or speaking 



20 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

to her. He hurled insult after insult into my face— he denied me the priv- 
ilege of defending myself) or telling me of what I was accused. Some one 
has been slandering me. If I only knew who it was — 
Enter Pat c. — hands Charles note. 

Well, Pat? 

Fat. Masther darlin, the ould man's well on his way. 

Chas. Pat, you are a good fellow— I will have to raise your wages. 

Pat. I/' any thanks, yer honor, an' I'll accept that same, so I will. 

Chas. {reads frovi vote) "Uncle will he from home this evening." If it 
were not that I have made up my mind to leave, I would be the happiest 
man in the world. 

Pat. Exceptin' mesilf, masther darlin.' 

Chas. Give me your hand, Pat. {shake hands) You're a noble fellow j but 
where is Rose ? She does not know that I am here. 

Pat. Faith an' she does, f'what the divil are blinds to a windy made for. 
She knows ye are here. 

Enter William and Ben, l. 

Will. Ho, ho. This is the way my gentleman of honor does, is it ? "Waits 
until the master is gone, then creeps into the house like a thief. 

Chas. I came in by the front door. It seems as if you and your friend 
came sneaking in. 

Will. Have a care how you address me, Mr. Haliday. I am master of 
the situation, and I tell you to get out of the house. 

CAas-. {in a rage) You — you — infernal — {draws knife — advances on Will- 
iam) Draw and defend yourself, you cowardly puppy, or I'll cut you down. 

Will. Don't Charles — I am not armed. {Ben gets behind Charles — raises 
knife to slab Charles) 

Pat. {jumpitig nt Ben) Howld on, ye murtherin hound, I'm at yer service. 
{^Ben retreats Charles turns — William draws pistol— covers Charles) 

Enter Pose, who rushes between Will and Charles — screams — as Charles turns 

William /ires — Bose faints in Charles arms — Will and Ben exit 

R., followed by Pat, who returns — all very rapidly. 

Chas. Rose, my darling, are you hurt? 

Pat. Masther, darlin, did the bullit sthrike ye ? 

Chas. No, Pat. {Rose recovers) Are you hurt, Rose? 

jRo.se. {faintly) Only frightened. 

Chas. If you had been, I never would have forgiven myself. I ought 
not to have come here, after what has passed between your uncle and my- 
self. 

Pose. You will forgive him, Charles ? {exit Pat 

Chas. And do you ask me to forgive him? Then hard as it is, 1 will. 

Jiose. And Charles, you will not go away, will you? 

Chas. Not if you say remain. 

Bose. Then I say stay — uncle will surely give his consent when he sees 
that I ana determined, dud Charles, I want you to promise me one thing. 

Chas. What 13 it? 

Bose. That no matter what my uncle eays or does, you will not be angry 
with him. 

Chas. I promise. 

Bose. Thank you, Charles. Now, go for 

Pat rushes in c. 

Pat. Be ofif wid ye. Here's the ould man comin tearin' up the front 
walk, wid thim two fchaves on both sides of him. 
Bose. It is too late— they are here already. 
Sir B. {outside) I'll kill the infernal scoundrel I 

JSxit Bose B. — Sir Bobert, Will and Ben rush in c. — Sir Bobert advances 
on Charles, who keeps out of his way. 



• THE FALSE FRIEND. 21 

What means this impudence ? Had I not forbidden you the house ? 

Chas. ( folds arms) Yes sir. 

Sir E. Then how is it I find you here ? 

Fat. {removes hat— bows) It's ail my fault, yer honor. 

Sir E. {astonished) Your l^iultl How is that? 

Fat. Well, ye see, yer honor, I was— 

Ben. Your lordship should have that Irishman transported for life. ^ 

Fat. Ye black hearted villain, howld yer tongue, or I'll give ye a taste o 
this, {shakes stick) Och, me blood biles so, I'm ready to burst, so lam. {they 
turn to go) Ah, ye murtherin' bla'guards, I'll have at ye yet, er me name's 
not Pat O'Brien, .,, /• j xv, i. t 

Chas. Good evening, my lord, T trust that one day you will fand tbat i 
am not what I am represented as being, by those two. 

Sir E. Get out of my house, or I shall ask my friends here, to kick you 

out. , , A > I 

Pat. {prancing about and shakivg stick) Ax 'em, yer honor. Ax em I 
Whoop ! That's fwhat I want yer to do. Och, howly Moses ! come and 
kick me out. v • * j 

Chas. Your lordship will one day repent the wo-ds you have just used. 

{exeunt Fat and Charles, C. 

Sir E. What, he dares threaten me I It's too much, I'll make him re- 
^^g^ct. {^^^^ ^-^ ^^ ^ passion 

will. The last link has been furged, and now it remains for you to— you 
understand? 

Fen. Why, is it that you wish me to put Sir Robert out — 

Will. Hushl Notwithstanding he appeared in a passion just now, he 
suspects us, and witb him out of the house, and Charles in the city, I stand 
Si bfit-tGr sliowin*^. 

Fen. I don't^ee why you should hate this young fellow so bitterly. 

Will. I hate him because he has stolen the heart of the only woman I 
ever loved, and whom 1 have sworn to possess. 

Fen. 1 will get him so completely m the toils that no power can save 

Will. Do so, and within one month I will give you fifty thousand 
pounds. {exitc. 

Fen. Fifty thousand pounds is a very large sum for slitting a— {draws 
hand across throat) I never did get such a pull for such little work. _ Let 
me see, I'll go and fix myself up as an old man, watch the house, and if my 
lord makes friends with Haliday, they will return together. When they 
are in this room, why enter old man with a pitiful story, get possession of 
Haliday's knife and when he leaves I am alone with Sir Robert, then one 
good strong blow, and I have made fifty thousand pounds. So here goes to 
■win the money or lose my life. (^a;iY c. 

Enter Eose, R. 

Eose. Oh ! wasn't uncle in a terrible passion ? Didn't he say some awful 
things to Charles ? But then Charles kept his promise. What did he mean 
by those words : "you will repent ; but then it will be too late"? I am 
sure he meant no harm. Isn't it delightful to have such a lover as Charley ? 
He is 80 kind, so good, so gentle. Now look at Mr. Marlborough, every 
time he comes near me I tremble in spite of myself. Oh, I forget, uncle 
will not now consent to my marrying Charles, at least he said he would not. 
Ah, Bome one comes — I'll retire. {exit b. 

Enter b'ir Eobert and Charles, c. 

Chas. Why, my lord, you astonish me by what you have just said. I 
have been rather wild; bat no one can with truth, bring such a charge 
against me, and to prove to you that I am not afraid, let whoever briniis 
this charge against me, bring the person of whom you spoke, and 1 will 
face my accusers, as a man of honor should ? 



22 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Sir R. My dear boy, it does my old heart good to hear you speak in that 
way. Think no more ot what has passed between us, and if Rose loves you, 
why, here's my hand. {shake hands 

Chas. ThanKs : all I ask is a firm friend and no favors. 

Enter Ben c, disguised as an old picture peddler. 

Sir a. How did you get in without attracting the notice of the serv- 
ants ? 

Ben. Your honor, I am an old man, weary and foot sore, and would beg 
a nights lodging. 

Sir B. I don't believe I can accomodate you. 

Ben. Then your honor will please examine my pictures, perhaps you 
will be kind enough to buy one, and thus help an old man to make an hon- 
est penny. 

Chas. {aside) I don't like the appearance of this fellow. 

Sir R. Place your pictures on the table, and we will examine them. 
{he does so) Come Charles, we will see if we can find one that will suit us. 

( Charles goes to table and Ben behind him 

Chas. {turning over picture) This seems to be a very nice one, ray lord. 

Sir R. Tut, tut, boy, call me uncle. 

Ben. {aside) Ho, hoi it is just as was expected. 

Sir R. Ah, here is a pretty one. {they bend over pictures — Ben takes knife 
from Charles' coat, and places it in sleeve) 

Chas. It is very pretty. Look at the expression of that face. He seems 
to be as happy as I feel at the present moment. 

Sir R. 1 think Rose will be delighted to hear that I have taken you back 
to my favor. What do you think ? 

Chas. If I should express my opinion, I am afraid 1 should be thought 
Tain, {to Ben) How much for this picture? 

Ben. Ten pounds, sir. 

Sir R, {takes out piirse — paT^'s Ben) Here is the money. 

Chas. It is time I should return home. As I shall not have an opportu- 
nity of seeing Rose, please inform her that there has been an explanation, 
will you ? 

Sir R. I will acquaint Rose with the good news, the first thing in the 
morning, {exit Charles, c.) Well, old man, I thought you were gone. 

Ben. Iso, your honor, I have some business which I must finish before I 
leave. {lai/s bundle on table 

Sir R. What do you mean, fellow ? 

Ben. {savagely) I mean that you will never see the sun rise again, {stabs 
him — Sir Robert falls — lays knife by his side — takes bundle) Help ! Murder I 
Police ! {exit k. 

Enter Charles, l., runs to Sir Robert. 

Chas. What is this I see ! {stoops over Sir Robert and picks up knife — 
springs to his feet) 

Enter Wxlliamf c. — stops. 

Murdered ! Great heaven, murdered ! 
Will. Help, help, police ! 

Rose, Rat and police officers rush in from all directions. 

There stands the murderer, arrest him. {officers advance on either side and 
take him by his arms — drops knife — is stupefied — Will picks iiv knife) See it 
is his knife. {shows it to all — Rose screams 

Chas. {rousing himself) Before God and man, I am innocent ! 

Will. Do your duty officers. {take Charles to door, C. 

Chas. Farewell, Rose ; but listen to me : I swear in the presence of the 
body of your murdered uncle, I am innocent of this terrible crime. Fare- 
well Rose. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 2a 

Bosc, {screams-runs towards him) Charles, my darling I {fallsin faint 
PICTURE AND CURTAIN. 



ACT 11. 

SCENE FIRST— .4 lapse of three months-inter hr of jml, third grooves-- 
Charles sitiinq at table. ^, , , ±^ 

Chas It is now three months since that fatal evening. Oh heavens ! to 
thinrthat I should be accused, and convicted of a criu.e of which I am in- 
re^^'^Vi^too much. Rose has not been near -e-she must^th^nk^^^^^ 

S'^^^^y- j.^^^^^ j-^,^ j^y^^j.^ c— shakes Charles. 

Jim. Come, rouse up, my man. 

Chas. (rousing) ^yho ave yon'? 

Jim. 1 am Jim Lynx, the detective, at your service. 

Chas. Ah, I recollect. t i f ^ ^rml ? 

Jim. Now that you have sent for me, what can I do for you / 

Chas. You are aware of what crime I am charged . 

Jim. We detectives know everything. 

Chas Then you know who it was that murdered Sir Robert . 

wood and myself. 

Chas. How do you know that? 



Nevermind. Let me hear your story. , , . p, i 

Sir Robert and myself had some very hard words ; but afterwards 
he and I became friends-on the evening he was murdered he mvited me 
?ohts house, andwhen we had been in the parlor some minutes, an old ped- 
dler came in. 

S; Ylewi^L')ing%TcuJ:s.' He asked us to buy-we examined them, 
and'SmustVa^vebeen^v^bile examining the P^^nrcouirUly h^: 
turned towards him-that he stole my knife, ^^^^^^.^/^^ ,^r;i'^, jHo^^ it-i 
doTiP We finally decided to purchase a picture— Sir Rebel tpaicl tor it i 
lefrbut had not reached the Lnt gate, when i heard cries of help, murder, 
pfhce I rushed Lto the house, aii^ saw— you know the 

""^Jim. {during speechwas taking notes) Yes, but whom do you suspect? 
Chas. No one— do you ? 
Jim. I suspect two men. 
Chas. ^V^ ho are they? ^^^.^ ^^.^^ ^^^,^^^^^ ^^ 



Jim. 



wno are luey : , x« i n 

I will not tell you now ; but will goand hud tl 



dim. i- Will liOh tcii y"Li iiu .. , ^^v^ » , 

vours, and he and I will manage this thing lor you. „+!,,•„„ 

^ Chas Do this and my eternal gratitude will be yours, besides something 
more substantial. 

ct; 'Gt^dVa^'ceSrttfk.) Oh, G.d 1 I thank Thee for having giv- 
en me two He frfends-and Rose-that man said she did not believe me 
guilty. Why is it then that she has not been to see me .' 
Enter Will, l. 

Will. Good morning, Mr. Haliday, have you heard any news lately ? 

WiU. Never^mlndTl'have a proposition to make, to which, if you con- 



24 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Bent, you will not only save your life, but you will regain your liberty, 
iou are aAvare that murder is a crime punishable by death ? 

Chas. Yes ; but my sentence was 

Will Imprisonment for life; but how long do you suppose you could 
live in this place ? x r ^ 

Chas. Ah ! not long. I am already feeling weak and faint : but your 
proposition ? •' 

^ Will. It is this : you know I am rich and have great influence. Prom- 
ise me that if I succeed in opening your prison doors, you will leave the 
country. 

Chas. And Rose ? 

Will, You must not see her. 

Chas. Then I will not 

Will. Rose believes you guilty of murdering her father. 

Chas. You lie, villain that you are I 

Will. If I was not master of the situation, I would not take your insults 
BO tamely. Then you refuse my offer ? 

Chas. I do» 

Will. Then listen : you will die the death of a dog. Money is all power- 
ful, and can do many things in a bold man's hands. After vou have ceased 
to inhabit this beautiful world, 1 shall marry Rose, and ' 

Chas. {starts towards him) You infernal 

_ Will, [points pistol) Keep off, or I will shoot you. And after we are mar- 
ried, we will sometimes talk about poor Charles Haliday, who was hung 

for {Charles jumps on him—they struggle— Will drops pistol— Charles 

throws him doiV7i) Help, murder, murder ! 

Jlvi and Pat rush in R., and take Charles off Will. 

Jim. You must not do this, Mr. Haliday. 

Fat Och, yer murtherin' thafe, an' if I had known 'twas you, I would 
have helped me masther sthrangle the life out o' ye. ( Charles s ts in chair 
with head on table) Och, me poor masther. 

Jim. Come, Mr. Haliday, cheer up. 

Will. I shall have a 

Pat. {advancing) Now look a here : the best thini? ye can do is to git out 
o' here, before I can say Jack Robinson. 

Will. I will go ; but I shall call upon you as a witness of this assault 
Mr. Haliday, you shall hear from me again. (exit l. 

Jim. AYhat is this fellows name, Mr. Haliday? * 

Chas. William Marlborough. {Lynx starts) You seem surprized. 

Jim. Dol? {aside) Whew ! I know my men now. {aloud) Well, Mr. 
Haliday, we have a proposition to make to you. We propose to effect your 
escape. "^ 

Chas. And let the world think that I am guilty, and am 

Jim. The world thinks you «re guilty anyhow. ' 

C/ias. Well, let me hear your plan. 

Jim. Our plan is simply to fix you up so your own mother wouldn't 
know you, and then we will have three working, instead of two. 

Chas. I consent. When will you make the attempt? 

Jim. As soon as possible. 

Chas. May heaven aid you and grant you success. 

Jim. Well, we must go, so that we can commence our work. Good bye 
Mr. Haliday. Keep a stout heart. ' 

Pat. Good bye, masther, darlin. 

Chas. Good bye, my friends, {shakes hands) I hope soon to see this mvs- 
tery cleared up. {exit Lynx and Pat, r.) Heaven has heard my prayers, and 
sent me a friend, when I least expected one. Oh., Rose, Rose I how I long 
to be with you, so that I may watch your enemies, and mine. Can it be 
that William Marlborough is implicated? I begin to suspect him. Let 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 25 

him look to himself if my suspicions should prove correct, for my vengeance 
will be terrible. {siU- at table— scene closes 



SCENE S'ECO'SD— Interior of tavern at the village— Bar, back, with shelves, 
bottles, etc. — Tables c. of stage, with chairs. Lynx as bar-keeper — disguised. 

Jim. F{trtune favors me. From conversation I overheard between those 
two men, 1 learned they would be here, and something was said about a 
large sum of money due Harris. Feeling sure that it was somehow connec- 
ted with the murder of Sir Robert, I determined to be reaay for them. 
The landlord of this inn, is an old friend of mine, and readily consented to 
the arrangement, and Jim Lynx is duly installed, for a short time at least, 
in his stead. But, hark ! some one is coming. 1 am very deaf. 
Enter Ben and Will, c. 
Ben. {loudl/) I i^rj, lai dlord. 
Jim. Aye, aye, sir. 

Ben. Look lively, and bring us a bottle of your best Avine. 
Jim. Aye, aye, sir. Here's your wine, gentlemen, {places wine and glass- 
es on table) 

Ben. Come fill up. {fill glasses) Here's luck to you. 

Will. Thank you. (they drink) You do not feel qaite as ner\ous as you 
did? 
Ben. I must say that I do not. 

Will. Then let me hear how you (Ben points to Jim) I say, landlord. 

{moderately — Jim does not hear) Landlord ! Landlord ! {does not hear — loud- 
er) 1 say, landlord ! 

Jim. {starts — during the conversation, was cleaning glasses) Eh, what did 
you say, gentlemen ? 

Will. He can't hear, so proceed. 

Ben. All right, here goes. {Pat sings outside) Who is that? 
Will. It sounds like that Irishman's voice. 
Enter Pat, c. 
Pat. Helloa — hie — Mr. Landlord — hie — I want a — hie dhrink. {staggers 
to table where Ben and Will are) 

Jim. You have had too much, already, and I'll not give you any more. 
{aside) He'll spoil the whole business. 

Will, {aside to Ben) Let's fill him full, and then pump him dry. 

Ben. {aside to Will) All right, {to Pat) Here my ^riend, here's a glass of 

wine. {gives Pat glass 

Pat. Many thanks. I am— hie — Pathrick — hie — Brien, at yer — hie 

— sarvice. {drinks — sets glass down 

Wi'l. I say, Pat, when 

Pat. Eh, so it is — hie — ye are the — hie — chaps that masther — hie 

Will. 1 forgive him, and 1 also forgive you for the words you used. {Jim 
catches hold of Pat) 

Jim. You must get out of this. I can't have any drunken men here. 

Pat. Howld on, yer — hie — honor, I'm not dhrunk — I'm 

Ben. Let him alone, landlord , we'll answer for him. 

Will. Come, Pat, sit down. {Ben sits, R. of table, Will l., Pat., c. — Jim 
very much annoyed) 

Pat. {pours out wine) This is the foinest — hie — liquor that I ever tasted. 
{presents glass) Here's long life to yer — hie — honor. 

Ben. Thank you ; but see here, Pat, they tell me that your master is in- 
nocent of the crime with which he is changed. 

Pat, {shakes ffst) An' so he — hie — is— .don't yer — hie — believe it? 

Ben. The evidence was strong against him. 

Pat. I don't believe — hie — he murthered the old — hie — man. 



t6 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Will. But who could have done it ? 

Pat. All* that's just f'what I — hie {Jivi drops glass 

Ben. {loud voice) 'What's the matter landlord ? 
Jim. Dropped a glass. 

Ben. You was about to say, Pat, that 

JPat. I would loik a — hie — nother dbrink. 

Will. Give him what's left, Ben. {Ben gives wine — Bat drinks 

Will, Well, who is it you suspect ? 

Bat. Sus — pect? Who the — hie — divil are ye — hie — talking about? I 
— hie — don't owe — hie— him any — hie — thing. Landlord — hie — {Jim rur.s 
to him) do ye — hie — mane to say — hie — that I — hie — owe ye — hie — any- 
thing? ' {leans head on table 
Jim. No, who said you did ? 

Bat. No, an' I'll — hie — not go — hie — home. I'll stay — hie — here, {rolls 
off chair — motions to Jim) 

Jim. {aside to Bat) Are you playing 'possum, Pat? 
Bat. {aside to Jim) An' I'm a grane 'possum, so I am? 
Jim. Gentlemen, if you wish anytning, call and I'll attend to you. {goes 
behind bai — arranges things) 

Wdl. That last drink you gave him was too nnich, Ben. 
Ben. Here Pat, get up. {shakes him with foot) You would have to shoot a 
cannon over him t«.» wake him now. 

Will. 1 am glad, for we have been interrupted so many timei^, that I 
have almost despaired of hearing yopr story. 

Ben. {looks at Bat and Jim — Jim is whistling) Well here is the storv : I 
dressed myself as an old picture dealer. Here landlord quit that infernal 
whistling! 

Jim. Beg pardon, your honor, didn't mean any harm. 
Be7i. I fixed myself up as an old picture dealer, and hung around the 
house, watching my chance. It was just as you thought, they had made 
friends. I followed them into the house, and implored them to buy a pic- 
ture. {Bat takes folded paper from Bell's pocket and puts it in his oion) They 
examined the pictures and while they were looking at them, I stole Hali- 
day's knife. 

Pat. Och, murther I {Ben and Will start— Jim looks up 

Will. What was that? 

Ben. This infernal Irishman. I say Pat. {shakes him with foot 

Will. I had forgotten him — go on. 

Ben. They finally selected a picture, paid for it, and Haliday left. As 

soon as I thought he was out ot reach, why I Weil, you know what 

happened. 

Jim. {aside)-' R\ght sharp, it was. 

Ben. Here landlord ! {Ben goes to table) How much do we owe you? 
Jim. Eight shillings. 

Will, {gives money) We shall patronize you very often, {exeunt, c. — as they 
go Bat goes to Jim and they shake hands) 

Bat. " Thought I was dhrunk, did ye? Och, ye're not shmart, at all. 
Jim. I really did think you was drunk. 

Bat. Faith an' I know ye did ; but look here, {gives Jim paper) rade this. 
Jim. {glances at it) Ha, ha, ha I 

Bat. {in amazement) Listen. <<London, July 10th. For and in considera- 
tion of a certain piece of work, to be performed by Benjamin Harris, I, the 
undersigned^ do hereby promise to pay, three months after date, the sum of 
fifty thousand pounds, provided said work is satisfactorily done. Signed ; 
"William Marlbobough." Here is another one. "I, the undersigned, prom- 
ise, in consideration of the sum named in the foregoing paper, to faithfully 
perform the said work, and to deliver up this contract to the said William 
Marlborough, on the payment of the said fifty thousand pounds. Signed ; 
Bbnjamin Harris." Where in ttie world did you find this paper, Pat? 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 27 

Pat. In the coat pocket of that 

Enter Ben, hurriedly. 

Exactly, f 'what I — hie — saj, an' f'what are ye — hie— goi'n^ to— hie do 

about it? , „ , ,., , . {Jim hides paver 

Ben. I say, landlord, you didn't see a piece of paper on tlie floor, did 
you ? 

Jim. {looks around tabic) Xo sir, I did not, 

Ben. If any one should find it, I would be ruined. It is a receipt for a 
large amount, which I have paid, and I do not like to trust the man. 

Jim. I haven't seen it, your honor. 

Ben. I am very t-orry. {exit c. 

J*at. Faith, but that was a close shave. 

Jim. So it was ; but come, we must be on the track of ihose fellows. I'll 
go and tell the landlord to take posession; but by the way, is everything 
arranged for Haliday's escape? 

Pat- Yis, ivery thing is ready. 

Ji7n. Well then, remember eleven o'clock to-night. At twelve we will 
try. 

Pat. I'm there ivery time. {exeunt c.—scene closes 



SCENE TIURD— Landscape, second grooves— Enter Will and Ben, talking 
as they cross stage. 

Will. J^re you sure that you did not lose that paper, Ben ? 

Ben. Yes, I \m certain. 

Will. All right, 7 '11 take your word for it. {exeunt, R. 

Enter Pat and Jim. 

Jim. Didn't that chap look blue, Pat? 

Pat. I'm afther thin kin' it's bilious, he looked. 

Jim. Ha, ha, ha! That was a cute trick of yours. 

Pat. Yis, I thought I'd steal somethin' from him, beltase he put his 
dirthy foot on me. {examines and brushes coat 

Jim. So you just wanted to get even with him ? 

Pat. An' it's I thats afther thirkin I don't owe him anythin'. 

Jim. We are all right now. All we want is to find the disguise he wore, 
and to get Charles out of prison. You are ready lor to-night— you know 
the signal ? — three whistles. 

Pat. Yis, I know 'em. 

Jim. What are you to do when you hear me whistle ? 

Pat. Whin ye whistles the third time, I'm to throw a bit o' a pebble in- 
to me masther's cell. The pebble is to be tied to a sthring— the sthring to a 
rope, and 

Jim. All right. I must go now. Don't fail. {exit -l. 

Pat. An' it's me ye're afther axin not to fail? By all the blood o' me 
four fathers, eight mothers an' siventeen gran'mothers, I'll not fail ye! 

{exit B, — scene closes 



^S'CENE FOUETH— P7n5on — Charles rises and walks about, goes to windoio, 
L., triesbars, listens. 

Chas. The bars are all sawed through ; but what an awful height. There 

goes the quarter. In a few minutes it will te twelve o'clock and then 

{whistle heard) There is the first signal — my friends have not failed me. 

Ah what is that — a man on the top of the house, creeping slowly along it 

is Pat— the faithful fellow is risking his life for me, {whistle heard) There is 
the second signal. See how reckless Pat is moving— he will fall. Oh, 



28 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

heaven ! {covcrseyes — looks) Ko, he is all right, asain. See, he is now 

within {in a whisper) Pat, Pat. (whistle — clock begins to strike — Charles 

leaves window — pebble falls — picks it up and follows string to window and 
draws up rope — gets on table and breaks bars— fastens rope on opposite side of 
stage — uncovers head and turns eyes to heaven) Oh, God, in thy hands I place 
my life. {climbs out window 

Enter William, e. 

Will, {cuts rope which disappears rapidly) Thus have I my revenge, {scene 
closes) 



SCENE FIFTH.— La7idscape— Enter Pat, l. 

Pat. Sure an' I had a narrer escape, I dhropped right on the 
head of a cop, as he wus passin'. I wondher if master got away. I seen 
him git out o' the windy, an' thin I couldn't see him any more; but it 
seems to me I heard a sthrange noise. Faith, it frightened me. I wondher 
where the divil that detective is, any way 1 {looks off l.) Ah, here he 
comes. 

Enter Jim, l, 

Bad luck to yer lazj' bones. Why the divil did ye kape me waitin' so long? 

Jim. {dolefully) Aye, and it's bad luck sure enough. 

Pat. Anythin' gone wrong? 

Jim. Yrs. poor Mr. Halidiiy 

Pat. {excitedly) Tell me, didn't me masther git nway sU right? 

Jim. He had got about half way down, when some one cut the rope, and 
he fell down to the 

Pat. To the ground, aa' was kilt intirely ? 

Jim. No. 

Pat. No ? Tell me the truth, or I'll murther ye ? 

Jim. W'ell, he is all right. You shall hear the tale from bis own lips. 

Fat. Come on, bring me to him. {starts a. — stops) Och, murther I 

Jim. "What's the matter, Pat? 

Pat. Look there. {points R. 

Jtm. Ah, I see. We had better not be seen together, so 'au re voir,' as 
the French say. {exit, K. 

Pat. To the divil wid ye, an' yer Frinch sayin's. Dont be afther come- 
in' any o' yer frog-atin' spaches over me. 

Enter Will, R. 
V/iU. So at last he is out of the way, and in a manner that will bring 
credit upon mvself, although I shall take very good care not to let it be 
known that I was implicated, (.sees Pat) Why, how do you do, Pat? 

Pat. Pretty well, thank ye, without ye. 

Will. Shut up, and don't give me any of your lip. 

Pat. An shure, it 1 was to give a piece of my lip, ye'd have more than 
ye could carry. 

Will. I'll break everv bone in your body, you 

Pat. An' that's just t 'what ye'd bether not be afther tryin', so it is. 

{shakes stick 
Will. Come, come, Pat, think nothing of what I have said. Let's be 

friends, ■, ■, r -. 

Pat. All right, if I've said anythin that I'm sorry for, I'm glad of it. 

Will. ^Yhy——ichecks himself) I believe Miss Rose wants you, Pat. 

Pat. Thin I'll go, an' small thanks to yer, for the same. {exit, R. 

Will. I am afraid that Irishman will prove troublesome ; but never 
mind, {whistle outside) Ah that is Ben— he promised to bring that agree- 
ment with him. 

Enter Ben L. 

You are punctual, Ben. You have brought the agreement? 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 29 

Ben. Yes, h^re it is. 

Will, {bwn piper ) Thus do I destroy every vestage of the 'crime. 
Ben. {a.si e) It he had looked iuside, he would, have seen that it was a 
bldnk— the original I have 1< st. 

Will. Ashes never tell tales, do they Ben ? 

Bev. No, they are like dead men, they never mount a witness box. 
Chas. {outride in deep hollow voice) But there will be ^ne who \\ill. {^Ben 
and Will look at each other in horror — business ad libitum) 
Will. What was ihat? 
Ben. I do not know. 
Will. Very mysterious ! 
Ben. L ome. ( Will draws knife, Ben a pistol — exit L. 

Enter Charles, disguised as old man. 
Chas. Ah I gave them a good scare, at least. They were the worst 
frightened men that I have seen in many a day ; but where can that detec- 
tive be. He promised to be here by this time. There must be something 
detaining him, for he is usually punctual. {Pat sings) Ah, that is Pat's 
voice — I'll see if he knows me. 

Enter Fat, r. 
Good morning, my friend. 

Bat. Same to yod sir. (aside) Who the divil's this ould rooster, anyway ? 
Chas. You don't happen to know, nobody who wants a good gardener, do 
you ? 

Fat. Yis sir. 

Chas. Then perhaps you would not object to tell me who it is ? 
Fat. No sir, 1 haven't the least objection in the wourkl. Are ye a good 
gardener ? 
Chas. I am. 

Fat. I nade a mon to help me. 
Chas. Then I am the one. 
Fat. Ye are too ould, mon. 

Chas. That is nothing against me if I do your work, is it? 
Fat. No, an' I belave I'll hire ye. 

Chas. Are you acquainted with one, Charles Haliday, who lives about 
hero? 

Fat. I was ; but he'a gone desd — long life to him. 

Chas. I was a friend of his father, and would like to know something of 
his son. 

Fat. An' shure, ye haven't inthroduced yersilf, as yet. 
Chas. My name is Andrew Hobart. 
Fat. An' mine is — : — 
Chas. Patrick O'Brien. 
Fat. (astonished) IIow did you know that? 
Chas. I know it. and that is sufficient. 

Fat. An' shure, ye're the divil's own brother. Well, misther Hobart, I 
think I'll try ye one month, on trial. 
Chas. What do you pay by the month? 

Pat. The last mon 1 had, I gave him nothing the first month, and the 
second month I gave him one square male. At the ind o' the month he 
did'nt like it, so he left. 

Chas. Well, what will ye give me? 

Fat. I'll give ye a square male once a wake, an tin cints on Sunday. 
Chas. But leaving all jokes aside, do you really want a man to help you, 
and if so, what will you give ? 

Fat. I'll give you lodging, three males a day an' tin dollars a month. 
Chas. I'll take the place. 

Fat. You're a sensible ould mon, an I'll hire ye, so come 'long wid me. 
Chas. I cannot go at present, for I have an appointment with a friend. 
Ah, here he comes now. 



80 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Pat. An' by me soul, but it's Jim Lynx the detective. 
Enter Jim, e. 

Jim. Ah, good morning, Mr. — ( Charles put^i finger on lips) Hobart, I am 
Borry that I have kept you waiting ? 

Chas. It is of no consequence. How ai e things progressing, Mr. Lynx ? 

Jim. Capital, capital I 

PdLt. {aside) I smell a mice, an' it's a great big one. 

Jim. I say Pat, you haven't seen anything of those two fellows, have 
you? 

Pat. Yis, I seen the big one, an, he woer about to punch me head. 

Jim. He was ? 

Pat. Yis ; but we made friends, afther a manner. 

Chas. {natural voice) That's just like the infernal 

Pat. {jumps) Faith, an' I know ye now, masther darlin*. Och, murther I 
yer own mither wouldn't a known ye, in that rig. 

Chas. It remains now to be seen whether Rose will know me. So you'll 
hire me, will you not, Mr. O'Brien ? 

Pat. I ax yer pardin, masther darlin, I wor only jokin'. 

Chas. Come, friends, I am anxious to see her. 

Ji7n. Well, come on, for I wish to become well acquainted with the 
ne ghborhood. 

iat Come on thin, I'll lade the way. {exeunt, b. 



SCENE SIXTH— <S'i> Robert's parlor— Po&e at table, stitching handker- 
chief. 

Rose. It is almost time for Pat to be back — I sent him down to the village 
about two hours ago, for some worsted. I wonder how poor Charley is get- 
ting along — he must think it strange that I do not visit him ; but then it is 
Patrick's fault, he always puts me off when I wish to go. 

Pat. {outside) Git out o' that, ye ugly baste. 

Rose. There he is now. I thought he would never come. 
Enter Pat, c. 
My worsted, if you please. 

Pat. Yis, here it is, {gives bundle) an' I hope its the right kind. 

Rose. Why ? 

Pat. Bekase I had to run all over the village for it. 

Rose, That doesn't matter much ; but Pat, sit down, I wish to ask you a 
question. 

Pat. {seats himself— jumps up) Och, murther ! The divil take sich chairs, 
Bay I. 

Rose, "What is the matter with the chair ? 

Pat. {scratching head) Faith, an' that's just f'what I'm afther tryin' to 
found out. 

Rose. Well, sit down. 

Pat. {sits on hard bottom chair) I've always bin used to sitin' on benches, 
an' the loik o' that, an' not on sich fancy fixin's. 

Rose. Now, Pat, I want you to tell me what you were hinting at yester- 
day. 

Pat. Somethin I hinted at yesterday ? 

Rose. Yes, you said : "never mind,' I'll keep an eye on you, for I suspect 
that you are ." The rest 1 did not hear. 

Pat. Arrah, now, Miss, Rose, don't be afther mentionin' a poor divil's 
failin's. 

Rose. Now Patrick, that's a good fellow, tell me what you meant by 
those words. 

Pat. {aside) The cunnin' little divil, she's afther soft«soapin' me. {aloud) 
I niver meant anythin' by thim words. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 31 

Rose You did, and you'll not tell me. i about to cry 

Pat. Don't cry, Miss Rose, an' I'll tell ye. 

Rose. There, now you are a good fellow, after all. 

Pat. Whist now, an' pay attention, as me ould captain used to say. On 
the day before yisterday, I wint to see me poor masther, an' we were talkin' 
about one thin' an' another, an' I savs to him, says I : "masther darlin' 
did ye murther the ould gintleman V "No," says he. "Thin, 'masther' 
darlm," says I to him, says I, "I have an idea." "You have," says he to 
me. "'Yis," says I. "Thin," says he to me, "let's have it," says he. 
"Masther, darlin," says I to him, "wouldn't ye loik to git out o' this ?" 
"To be shure," says he to me, says he. An' wid that, we put our two 
heads togither, loik two peas in a pod, an' the consequence is that 

Rose. What, has he escaped ? 

Pat. No, he hasn't ; but he has teiv chances to one, o' gittin' out o' that 
dirthy hole, an' in two days more he'll be as free as aither you, or 1. 

Rose. Oh, thank you, and thank heaven, also. Oh,rmsogladj but 

but — but, you haven't told me what you meant by those mysterious words, 

Pat. So ye want to know why I was speakin' to mesilf ? ' 

Rose. That's it exactly. 

Pat. Well thin, me jewel, I niver mane f what I say, or say fwbat I 
mane. 

i2o.se. And you will not tell me anything? 

Pat. Faith, Miss Rose, I have nothin" to tell ye. 

Rose, {angrily) Then you can go and attend to your own affairs, {exit Pat,. 
c.) I know very well he means something. 1 wonder if he got the right 
kind of worsted, {opens bundle) There, now, I told him to get me red worst- 
and he has brought me yellow tape. But what is this, {picks tip paper) Do 
my eyes deceive me ? {reads) "Daring escape. The prisoner helped from 
outside. He undertakes to get out of a third-story window of the jail. 
The jailor discovers him in time. He cuts the rope which is tied in the cell. 
The prisoner is dashed to pieces on the prison yard. Last night, which, as 
all will remember, was a terrible one, one of the prisouers confined in the 

jail on the charge of murder— all will remember Charles " Oh, heav- 

ensl how can I read more! "All will remember Charles Haliday, the 
young man who was convicted of the murder of Sir Robert Lancaster— con- 
ceived the idea of escaping by means of a rope, furnished by friends out- 
side. He had tied the rope in his cell, and must have been half way down, 
when the jailor entered. Seeing, that on account of the storm, it would be^ 
worse than useless to raise an alarm, he quietly cut the rope, and the unfor- 
tunate young man was dashed — ^to — pieces — on — the — stones — with which 

—the— prison— yard— is— paved. His— body— was— in— such— a — state — 

that— it— had— to— be— buried— immediately." Oii, heavens ! dead, dead, 

and in a felon's grave I Uobs violently 

Enter Will,c. 

Will. What, in tears t Why, my dear Miss Rose, what is the matter ? 

Rose. Nothing — 1 excuse me.i * , {exit c. 

Will. Now, I would like to know the reason of this agitation, {reads pa- 
per, ad libitum) So this then, is the cause of her agitation. Now the road is 
clear, and William Marlborough, if you do not win, you deserve a rope. 
I'll go and seek Ben. He will be able to arrange some plan; but who is 
this old man with Pat. 

Enter Pat and Charles, R. 

Pat. Here ve arenow,.Mr. Hobart. {sees Will) Where the divil's Miss 
Rose? 

Will. She has just stepped to her room. Can I do anything for you ? 

Chas. No sir, 1 believe not. 

Pat. I'll go an' see if me misthress will see ye, sur. 

Chas. Thank you. {exit Pat, C 

Will. You are a stranger a bout here, sir ? 



32 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Chas. It has been some tim'^ since I was in this neighborhood. 

Will, Then you do not know the current news. 

Chas. Only that a young man named Haliday, had murdered Sir Robert 
Lancaster, and was in jail. 

TFi//. (Aano{in<7 pa;9er) And there you can read of his untimely end. I 
loved him as a brother, and to think that he should be such a scoundrel. 

Chas. Then you believe him guilty. {takes spectacles from pocket 

Will, The proof against him was conclusive. 

Chas. You were an eye witness ? 

Will. Not exactly; but I was the principal witness against him. I saw 
him bending over the body, knife in hand. 

Chas. {looking up from paper) A horrible fate. Poor fellow, I pity him. 

Will. So do I; but if he had taken my advice, he would not have died 
80 early. If I am not too inquisitive, may I ask what you intend doing 
here ? 

Chas. Certainly. I heard that Miss Hazelwood needed a gardener, and 
as I am one, being rather hard up, I thought I would apply for the place. 

Will. Success to you. I expect one ot these days, to be 

Chas. "What ? 

Will. That doesn't matter ; but I must go and seek a friend of mine, so 
good day, and gcod luck to you, old man. 

Chas. Thank you. {exit William, c.) The infernal villain — he little sus- 
pects who I am. So Haliday has found a grave within the prison walls. 
Good! This is some of Lynx's work. My greatest trial will come when 1 
face Rose. She thinks me dead. Ah I hear some one approaching — It 
must be her. 

Enter Bose and Pat — Charles pockets paper — Pat motions for silence. 

Pat. Miss Rose, this is the ould gintleman, who has come to look afther 
the place, Andrew Hobart's his name. 

Rose. You seem to be rather old for such work. 

Chas. It is true, I am rather advanced in years ; but I still have my 
strength. 

i2o.se. Have you spoken to Patrick, about the terms. 

Pat. He has, ma'am, an' he agrees to iverytbiug. 

Rose. Then you may take him to the kitchen, and give him a lunch, 
and then show him where he is to sleep. 

Pat. All right, mam. Come along, ould man. 

Chas. May the blessings ot heaven rain down on you, for your kindness 
to me. {exit Charles and Pat, c. 

Rose, {sinks into chair) Grd knows that I need them, although you know 
it not, Mr. Hobart. Was ever a woman placed as I am — uncle murdered — 
lover dead, ana buried in a prison yard. Ah, it is too much, too much! 

{hurie'i face in hands 
Enter Will, c. 

Will. I see. Miss Rose, that you have oeen made acquainted with news, 
which I would have kept from you : at least told you in such a manner that 
you would have been prepared for it. Rose, I love you, and it pains me to 
see you thus wasting yourself for a man who was unworthy of you. 

Rose. He was not unworthy — he was innocent. I know it. 

Will. But now that he is dead, will you be my wife? 

Rose. I will promise to be your wife on two conditions. 

Will. Name them. 

i2o.se. The first is, that for the space of one year, you say nothing to me, 
whatever, of love or marriage. 

Will. I promise — and the other condition ? 

Rose. That before three months, you clear the name of Charles Haliday, 
of the stain, which now rests upon it. 

Will. But Rose, how 



33 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Jiose. You have heara my conditions, accept or reject them, as you 
think proper. 

Will. 1 accept your conditions. 

iJo.se. Thank you — 1 will now retire. (exit, c. 

Will. Oh woman, woman ! for you, I would murder my own brother. 
As it is I must give my dearest friend up ; but how cau I do it, without im- 
plicating myself? No matter, I have the proof. 

Enter Jim, c. — hides himself. 
I have the costume he wore, when he murdered Sir Robert. I told him 
that I had destroyed it; but I have it securely locked in my trunk. I must 
think it over. [exit, c. — Jiv\ comes forward 

J^m. There is nothing like following up a fellow. I've been hunting 
around for three weeks to find that bloody rig. He's going to give his 
pardner up, is he ? Well, I reckon I'll gis'e em both up. 
Enter Pat, c. 

Pat. How are you, misther Jimmy ? 

Jim. How are you ? How is Mr. Haliday ? 

Pat. Oh, he's a'll right. 

c/iw. Tell him that I would like to see him. 

Pat. All right, Jimmy. {exit, c. 

Jim. How am I to get that trunk open — I've tried it a dozen times ; but 
it won't he picked, and I can't get a duplicate key, because the lock is so 
hid that I can't get an impression of it, and I don't want to break it open, 
for then he would miss the rig at once, and leave the country. 

Enter Charles and Pat, c. 
and I don't want him to do that. 

Chas. Don't want him to do what? 

Jim. I don't want Mr. William Marlborough to leave the country. I 
know where that suit of old clothes is ; but I don't know how to get it. 

Chas. Where is it kept ? 

Jim. In a trunk, in his room. We might get out a warrant, arrest them, 
and search the premises ; but I don't like to do that. I want to get all the 
proof in my hands first. 

Chas. Yes, I should like to give them a surprise. 

Jim. Tuat's it exactly, so if yoa will wait a short time, I think I can 
manage it. 

Chas. I am satisfied. Wait and watch, and if you can contrive to get 
this costume, well and good. If not we will adopt the other plan, {exit 
Lynx, c. ) 

Pat. An' if ye don't hurry up, I'll go an' git the ould thing, mesilf, so I 
will. 

Chas. You wouldn't do anything without my consent, would you Pat? 

Pat. Kot unless I have to wait too long. 

Chas. Well, come, let's go into tho garden again. {exeunt, c. 

Enter Hose, r. 

Hose. Mr. Marlborough promised a very difficult thing, still, if he does 
clear the name of Charles, from the dreadful stain upon it, no matter how 
much I despise the man, I will marry kim. 

. Enter Jim, c. 

Jim. Good morning. 

Rose. Good morning ; but I have not the pleasure of knowing your 
name. 

Jim. My name. Miss Rose, is Jim Lynx, of the London Detective Force. 
I have been engaged to sift the murder case through. 

Rose. Then Mr. Marlborough has commenced in earnest ? 

Jim. No ma'am, Mr. Marlborough does not know that I am here. I 
wish to have your permission, to have free access to your house at any and 
all times — do you grant it ? 



34 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Jiose. Yes sir. 

Jim. Thank you. That is all. {exit C. 

jRose. Everything grows so — so — I hardly know what. First I hear Pat 
use some mysterious words, then this detective, what did he mean. He is 
engaged on the — the — the murder of my uncle. What, oh what does all 
this mean ! There is some mystery here, which I cannot fathom. 

Enter Charles, c. 

Chafi. Ah, good morning. As the ground is too wet to work, I came ia 
to read some of my favorite authors. 

Rose. Any book, which you can find in the house, worthy of perusal, 
is at your disposal. 

Chas. Thank you ; but excuse an old man's inquisitiveoess. I have 
been talking with Patrick, about you and Mr. Haliday. May 1 ask you a 
few questi(ui3 ? 

Rose. Yes, any information, that I am posessed of, will be cheerfully 
given you. 

Chas. I also wish to ask you a few questions, concerning yourself. 

i2o.se. {aside) What can he mean? {aloud) You have my permission. 

Chas. Does this JVr. Marlborough love you ? 

Rose, He says he does. 

Chas. Do you love him ? 

Rose. I do not. 

Chas. Do you still love Charles Haliday ? 

Rose, {agitated) I do. 

Chas. it was proved in court that he was guilty of your uncle's murder. 

Rose. My heart tells me he was innocent. 

Chas. But then he is dead. 

Rose. Yes, he is dead, {aside) Whenever this old man is near me I 
feel 

Chas. And knowing that he is dead, has not this Marlborough asked 
your nand in marriage ? 

Rose. He has. 

Chas. And what was your answer? 

Rose. I promised, on condition that he would, within three months, 
clear the name of Charles Haliday, from the foul stain which now rests up- 
on it. 

Chas. What if I were to tell you that he live ? 

Rose. Why, what do you mean, old man ? Explain yourself— this sus- 
pense is terrible. 

Chas. Then I tell you Charles Haliday lives. 

Rose. Take me to him, for heaven's sake take me to him. 

Chas. {pulls off vjig and xchiskers) Rose, he stands beside you. 
' Rose, {falls in his arms) Heaven, I thank thee. 

Chas. Oh, Rose, Rose, my darling, I have looked forward to this meeting, 
with many misgivings ; but thank heaven, I have found you true. 

Rose. As if [ could be otherwise ; but how is it that you are alive, and 
all the papers say that you were killed ? 

Chas. The jailor must have invented it. As to how I escaped, I will tell 
you on another occasion. 

Rose. And why not now, Charles ? 

Chas. Because I have a little surprise m store for you — you will wait? 

Rose. Yes; but Charles, I have a question to ask you. Patrick was 
working around that immense moss rose bush, and by the merest chance in 
the world, I happened to go there. As I neared the bush, I overheard these 

words : "never mind, I'll keep my eye upon you, for I suspect^you are " 

His voice died away, and I could not hear the rest, (starts) What was that? 
I am sure I heard some one walking. 

Chas. {hastily putting on disguise) I did not hear any one. 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 35 

Rose. Come this way. {ihey exit b. 

Elder Ben and Will, c. 

Will. Xow Ben, I have told you what her conditions are. 

Ben. Well, the first condition is ea?y enough; but the second is not. 

WiU. Iso, it is not; but she is firm. If I do not clear Haliday in three 
months, she will njt marry me. 

Enter Jim, R. — 'istenlng. 

Jim. {aside) Ah, ha, thatis the reason you want to give your pardner 
away, is it ? 

Will. But this IS not what I wished to talk to you about. Take a chair. 

{sit down, Ben R., Will, L. of table 

Pat. {at L. u'ini) Och, the murtherin' villains^ now we'll be af'lher hearin' 
Bome more bkoily work. 

Will. What do you think of this old man, who is employed here. 

Ben. I think him a harmless old man ; but why ? 

Will. I susjiect him. You read that article in the paper, of Haliday'a 
daring attempt to escape, did you not? 

Ben. Yes. 

Will. It was not the jailor who cut that rope, it was your humble serv- 



ant. 



Fat advances, shaking stick, Jim points revolver, both return. 



Ben. And so you suspect the old man. 

Will. Precisely. I do not believe this tale about the burial of the pris- 
oner ; besides this old fellow has a peculiar way of looking at me, whenev- 
er I pass or speak to him. 

Ben. I'll watch him. 

Will. Do so. Now what do you advise. 

Ben. In the girls case, nothing, as yet — as to the old man, watch him 
closely. 

Will. There is another matter, I wish to speak to you about, as this one 
has been seitled — this Irishman. 

Fat. {aside) An' it's me, they're afther talkin' about. Faith, an' I'll be 
all ear*. {places ear outside scene 

Will. He has either found out something, or suspects too mtich. 

Ben. Ah, 1 understand, you wish him 

Will. Exactly, I wish him out of the way, 

Ben. How much do you consider the job worth ? 

Will, Just one thousand pounds, 

Ben. In one week this Irishman will have ceased to exist, {shake hands) 
I must noAv go, and make my preparations. 

Will. All right. I'll remain here, and perhaps I may catch a glimpse 
cf my precious beauty. {Ben exit c, folloioed by Lynx) Ben has a close tongue, 
a cool head, and above all, he never quarrels about the price of a job , but 
still, if I wish to win Rose, 1 must give him up, and I'll do it. I will not 
allow any one to come between us. 

Fat. {aside) Except Mr. H;aliday, Jim Lynx an' yer humble sarvint. 

Will, (a.si'ie) Did I not hear some one speak. Who's there? {pause) No 
answer. I'm getting very nervous of late. 

Enter Charles, c. 

I am always imagining all sorts of things. {Charles coughs — WiU turns) 
Gcod morning, Mr. Hobnrt. I was just wishing to see you, sir. 

Chas. Then you will have your wish gratified, for here 1 am . 

Will. You remembfr, in the last conversation we had, I asked you if 
you were a friend of Mr. Haliday ? 

Chas. 1 am a friend of Mr. Haliday. 

Will. Then you have heard something, which in your mind, will shift 
the guilt on some one, and 



•36 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Enter Pat, suddenly, c. 

Pat, Mr. Ilobart, thim dirthy cows are in the garden again, atein* ivery 
blissed thicg. 

Will, {aside) 1 suspect him more and more. 

Chas. As I was about to say, on no one can 1 bring my thoughts to rest 
as the guilty one, as I do not see the motive of the murder. 

Will, Then you think there was a motive? 

Chas, Most assuredly. 

Will. And if you should find what the motive was, you will tell me? 

CAas. Certainly I will. 

Pat, Not. 

Will. What did you say, Pat? 

Pat. Faith, an' if I said anything it's mesilf don't know it. 

W'dl. [aside) There is something in ail this that I do not understand. 

{starts to go 

Chas. You are not going? 

Will. Yes. Just mention to Miss Rose that I was here, will you Pat? 

Pat. 1 will, (aside) If 1 think of it. 

Will, Now do not forget what you have promised, Mr. Hobart. {exit, c. 

Pat. That chap is afther suspectic' who ye are. masther darlin'. Take 
my advice, an' don't have much to say to him, will ye masther darlin' ? 

Chas. I promise you, Pat. 

Enter Pose, r. 

Jtose. "Who is it that has just left, Charles ? 

Pat. He tould me to tell ye, ma'am. It was Misther William Marlbor- 
ough. 

Pose. Oh ! that hateful man — I wish he would not come so often. 
Enter Lyux, c. 

Jim. How do you all do ? 

Chas. First rate, Mr. Lynx— and you ? 

Jim. All right, {aside to Pat) 1 say, Pat, I want to have a word with you. 

Pat. {ditto) Just wait awhile, an' ye may. 

Chas. Come Rose, let's take a walk in the garden. {exeunt, c. 

Pat. Now me honest detective, fwhat is it ye want to say to me. 

Jim. It is this— I have found out the disguise that Ben has assumed, so 
when you leave the house, beware of an Irishman. 

Pat. An' is it an Irishman, he'll be? 

Jim. Yes. 

Pat. Thanks, me friend, give us yer hand, {shake hands) I'll watch fer 
him, niver fear. 

Ji7n. All right, (going) Tell your master that I have every thing ready 
and that in a short time, I am agoing to try and get that disguise. 

Pat. An' may the howly St. Pathrick grant ye sucniss. (exit Jim, c.) 

An' if there iver was an honest mon, that same is Jim Lynx, the detective. 

He has stuck to us, so he has, and I mane to stick to him. (belt rings) Ah, 

what is that? {exitti. 

Enter Ben and Will— sit at table. Will, r., Ben, l. 

Ben. What does Miss Rose mean by these invitations, Will ? 

Will, I don't know ; but there is something that I would like to Know. 
Ben. And what is that? 

Will. What made you and I sleep so late. 

Ben. Because we went to bed early ; but softly, here comes Miss Rose. 
Enter Rose c. 

Rose. Good day, gentlemen. 

Ben and Will. 'Good day. (Rose sits hy Will, facing both 

Ben. Miss Rose, 1 was afctonished at receiving your kind note, and would 



THE FALSE FRIEND. 37 

Fose. You are not astonished, are you Mr. Marlborough ? 

Will. No Tiia'atti, I am not. 

Hose. We will talk of this later ; but here comes Mr. Hobart. 

Enter Charles, c. — sits bctweoi Ben and William, little in front of Ben. 

Will. Good day, Mr. Hobart. 

Ckas. Same to you, sir. 

Ben. Glad to see you, old man. 

Chas. Thank you. Not interrupting the cuiversation in any manner, 
whatever, gentlemen, 1 would like to relate a strange dream, which I had 
last night. 

JRosc. What is it Mr. Hobart? Is it any thing dreadful? 

Chas. I will leave that tor you to say. 

Will. Let's hear it by all means. 

Chas. 1 think it will interest 3^o». 

Ben. {aside) What did he n^ean by speaking in that manner? 

Chas. Well, to commence — but remember, it is only a dream. 

Hose. Do proceed, Mr. Hobart — I am all curiosit)'. 

Chas. 1 dreamed tliat there were two young men, who were close friends, 
at least so one of them thought — he had no secrets from the other, who ap- 
peared sincere. I dreamed that this young man, whose name was Charles, 
met a young lady, with whom he fell in love, as did his friend, also, and 

JBen." Here was the bone of contention ? 

Chas. Yes. Well, the pretended friend of Charles' soon found that he 
had, no chance with the young Jady. As soon as William found that he bad 
been distanced by his friend, he went to work to devise some method ot 
getting rid of his friend. 

Will. And did he succeed ? 

Chas. Yes. 

Ben. How did he do it? 

Chas. He hired an assassin to do the work, which he, himself, dared not 
do. This young lady had an aged uncle, and this villain 

Hose. Hired a man to kill liim ? 

.Sen. {agitated) And did you dream how the murder was committed ? 

Chas. I did. The scene is before me, as plainly as if I had been an eye 
witness, i thought that this young man had just had a quarrel with this 
uncle; but they became friends again. {Will and Ben look at each other) 
They were in the parlor ot the old gentleman, when in walked an old ped- 
dler, who was selling pictures. {Ben clenches fists 

Enter Pat, L., quietly. 
They bought one of him, and while they were examining the pictures, the 
wretch stole the knife, which this young man had in a 

Ben. Why, heaven ! old man 

Chas. Be quiet. Remember I am only telling a dream. 

Will, {agitated) Be quiet, Ben. What in the world is the matter with you ? 

Chas. Well, as I said before, this old wretch had stolen the knife which 
Charles carried, and no sooner had Charles left than 

Hose. The old peddler stabbed the uncle? 

Chas, Precisely so. Miss Rose. Charles, hearing the cries of the old 
gentleman, rushed into the house, and there saw the old uncle lying on the 
floor, with a bloody knife by his side. He picked up the knife, recognized 
it as his own. He was horrified. He could not move. In this position he 
was surprised by his friend, who raised the cry of murder, and 

Will. He was taken to prison ? 

Chas. Yes, and hot only taken to prison ; but sentenced to remain there 
all his life. 

Rose. Horrible. 

Ben. And did your dream end there ? 

Chas. No it did not, there is a sequel. 



38 THE FALSE FRIEND. 

Will. What ;s the sequel ? 

Chas. While in prison, he conceived the idea of escaping ; but how to do) 
it, was the question, as the cell in which he was confined, was in the thirdl 
story of the building. At last however, by the aid of some friends, a rope) 
was given him. He had already been furnished with a file, with which he' 
had filed the bars nearly in two. He tied.the rope on the opposite side of 
his cell, got out of the window, and when about half way down, this friend 
entered, and quick as thought, drew his knife and 

Will. Cut the rope. 

Ben. And the poor fellow was dashed to pieces on the rocks beloAv. 

Chas. Not so. 

Omr.es. No ? 

Chas. The rope caught on something on the roof of one of the houses, 
and broke his fall. 

Will, {excitedly) What do you mean ? 

Chas. I mean that your intended victim escaped you, villain that you 
are. 

Will, {jumps to his feet, Ben does also.) You mean that 

Chas. {jirks of beard etc.) I am Charles Haliday. 

Ben. {draws knife) If you escaped him, you will not escape me. 

Ben atterii'pts to stab Charles in back — Pat, rushes at Ben. 

Pat. I'm at yer sarvice, ye murtherin' villain, {hits hiin on head with 
stick — Ben falls) 

Enter Jim and police officer — Will runs, c. — fires at Charles — misses him — Jim 
shoots Will, who stagger, c. — Pose screams — throics herself in Charles' arms. 

Will. I did all this for your sake, Rose. Farewell. {dies 

Chas. And may such be the death of every "False Friend." {points at 
Will. 

Pat. Ben. Chables. Rose. Jim. Police Officer. 

Will. 

CURTAIN. 



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To Our Customers. 

Amateur companies frequently have trouble in procuring Plays well adapted t« their 
"wants, frequently ordering perhaps five dollars worth in single copies, before anything 
suitable can be found. All this can be done away with. Our catalogue embraces plays 
suitable for any and all companies, and if our friends will write to us, stating the re- 
quirments of their companies, there need be no trouble in this line, at least. If a tem- 
peranc society wants plays, we have something for them. If a company wants some- 
thing wtiich is very funny, we can suit them. In fact we have dramas, farces, comedies 
and tragedies, which mil suit you. Enclose 15 cents per copy for as many sample copies 
as you may need, and we guarantee to suit you, if you will slate the size of your compa- 
ny, and whether best adapted to the serious or funny. Give us a trial, at lea'^t. 

A. D. AMES, Pub., Clyde, Ohle- 



^ AHES' S rA3il>ARD AI>I> I?II3tOR 1>KAMA. 



28. THIRIY-THREE NEXT BIRTHDAY. A Farce in one act, by John 
Madison Morton, 4 male, 2 female characters. Scene, outside of hotel, easily- 
arranged. Costumes to suit tlie characters. This farce should be read to be 
appreciated, and is a good one as are all of Madison Morton's playa. The com- 
edy characters are excellent. Time of performance, 35 minutes. 

29. THE PAINTER OF GHENT. A Play in one act, by Douglass Jerrold, 
5 male, 2 female characters. Scene in Ghent. Costumes of the country and 
period. This is a beautiful play of the tragic order. The character of the "Paint- 
er of Ghent." is one of grandeur and fine language. He becomes insane at the 
loss of children, and being a painter, paints their portraits from memory. A 
daughter whom he supposes dead, returns to him, and he recovers. A granl 
pley. Time of performance, 1 hour. 

30. A DA Y WELL SPENT. A Farce in one act, by John Oxenf ord, 7 male, 

5 female characters. Scenery simple. Costumes, modern. Two clerks in tl;« 
absence of their "boss" conclude to shut up shop, and have a spree. They get 
into several scrapes with the females, have numerous hair breadth escapes, and 
have a terrible time generally. Very amusing. Time of performance, 40 
minutes. 

31. A PET OF THE PUBLIC. A Fwce in one act, by Edward Sterling, 

4 male, 2 female characters. Scene, parlor. Costumes, modern. In this farce, 
the lady assumes four distinct characters, either of which is good. For an act- 
ress of versiiitility, it is a splendid piece, and amatuers can also produce it with- 
out Woubiv. It can either be used for a principal piece, or an afterpiece. Time 
of perfona ice, 50 minutes. 

32. LIT VIFE'S RELATIONS. A Comedietta, in one act, by Walter Gor- 
don, 4 maL i female characters. Scene, plain apartments. Costumes, modern. 
A pleasi;;^ little piece well suited to amatuers, school exhibitions, etc. A fel- 
low marries, her relatives comes to see her, are much more numerous than he has 
an idea of. The denoument is funny. Time of performance, 45 minutes. 

33. ON THE SLY. A Farce in one act, by John Madison Morton, 3 male, 
2 female characters. Scene, plain apartment. Costumes, modern. Husbands, 
don't never fall in love with your wive's dress makers — never squander your 
money foolishly, never do anything "on the sly," for your wives will be sure to 
find it out. This farce explains it all. Time of performance 45 minutes. 

34. THE MISTLETOE BOUGH. A Melo Drama in two acts, by Charles 
Somerset, 7 male, 3 female characters. Scene, castle, chamber and wood. Cos- 
tumes, doublets, trunks, etc. A most excellent Melo-Drama. Plenty of blood 
and thunder, with enough jolly, rollicking fun to nicely balance it. A great 
favorite with amatuers. Time of performance 1 hour and 30 minutes. 

35. HO W STO UT YO U'RE GETTING. A Farce in one act, by John Mad- 
ison Morton, 5 male, 2 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scene, a plain 
room. This is another of Morton's excellent farces. The comedy characters in 
it are nicely drawn, and it always is a favorite. Easily produced. Time of 
performance, 35 minutes. 

36. THE MILLER OF DERWENT WATER. A Drama in three acts, by 
Edward Fitzball, 5 male, 2 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scenery, 
easily arranged. This is a touching little domestic drama, abounding in fine 
speeches, and appeals to the better feelings of one's nature. The "Miller" is an 
excellent old man. Two comedy characters keep the audience in good humor. 
Time of performance, 1 hour and" 30 minutes. 

37. NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL. A Comedy, in 3 acts, by Wybert Eeeve 

6 male, 5 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scenery, simple and easily ar- 
ranged. Every character in this comedy is in itself a leading character, and 
every one very funny. Probably there is not a play in the language in which 
every character is so funny as this. Time of performance, 1 hour 40 minutes. 

38. THE BEWITCHED CLOSET. A Sketch in one act, by Hattie Lena 
Lambla, 5 male, 2 female characters. Scene, Parson Grime's kitchen. Costumes 
modern. A lover goes to see his sweetheart, hides in a closet. Old man ap- 
peare on the scene, thinks the closet bewitched. They upset it. Old man is 
frightened— runs away. Everything right etc. Time of performance, 15 minutes. 

39. A LIFE'S REVENGE. A Drama in 3 acts, by Wm. E. Suter, 7 male?, 

5 female characters. Costumes, French, period 1661. Scenery, palace, garden.«, 
prison. Can be arranged by amatuers but is a heavy piece. A fine leading mjin, 
heavy raan, a glorious comedy, etc. AJsoleadiug lady, juvenile lady, comedy 
lady,' etc. This drama was a favorite with Harold Forsberg. Time of perform- 
ance, 2 hours and 15 minutes. 



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AMES' sta:\i>aro a.i\» miivojr i>raivia. 

40. THAT 3IYSTERI0l'S BUNDLE. A Farce in one act, by Kattie Lena 
Lambla. 2 male, 2 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scenery, a plain 
room. A Variety peice, yet can be performed by Amatiiers, etc. A IVlysterious 

bundle figures in this farce, which contains a . Time of performance, 20 

minutes. 

41. WON AT LAST. A Comedy Drama in 3 acts, by Wybert Eeeve, 7 male, 
3 female characters. Costumes modern. Scenery, drawing-room, street and 
oflBce. Every character is good. Jennie Highi starred on the character of "Con- 
stance" in this play. Amatuers can produce it. Time of performance, 1 hour 
45 minutes. 

42. DOMESTIC FELICITY. A Farce in one act, by Hatlie Lena Lambla, 1 
male, 1 female character. Costumes modern. Scene, a dining room. The name 
fully describes the piece. Very funny. Time of performance, fifteen minutes. 

43. ARRAH DE BA UGH. A Drama in 5 acts, by F. C. Kinnaman, 7 male, 
5 female characters. Costumes modern. Scenes, exteriors and interiors. A 
most exquisite love story in a play, abounding in scenes of great beauty. The 
depth of woman's love is beautifully shown. Time of performance about two 
hours. 

44. OBEDIENCE, OR TOO MINDFUL BY FAR. A Comedietta in one 
act, by Hattie Lena Lambla, 1 male, 2 female characters. Costumes modern. 
Scenes, plain room and bed room. An old fellow who thinks he is very sick, be- 
comes vely peevish and particular. A plot is formed to break him of his foolish- 
ness. Very amusing. Time of performance twenty minutes. 

45. ROCK ALLEN THE ORPHAN, OR LOST AND FOUND. A Comedy 
Drama in one act, by W. Henri Wilkins, 5 male, 3 female characters. Costumes 
modern. Scenes interiors. Time, during the Kebellion. This play represents 
the real "deown east" characters to perfection. An old man and woman are al- 
ways quarreling, and their difficulties are very amusing. Time of performance, 
one hour and twenty minutes. 

46. MAN AND WIFE. A Drama in five acts, by H. A. Webber, 12 male, 7 
female charactprs. Costumes modern. Scenery exteriors and interiors. This 
drama is one of intense interest and is a faithful dramatization of Wilkie Collins' 
story of the same name. This is said by competaut critics to be the best dram- 
atization published, and it should be in the hands of every dramatic company 
in the country. It has become a great favorite. 

47. IN THE WRONG BOX. An Ethiopean Farce in one act, by M. A. D, 
C'Jifton, 3 male characters. Costumes, peddler's and darkey's dilapidated dress. 
Scene, a wood. Characters represented, a darkey, an Irishman and a Yankee. 
Time of performance twenty minutes. 

48. SCHNAPPS. A Dutch Farce in one act, M. A. D. CTifton, 1 male, 1 fe- 
male character. Costumes, burlesque German. Scene, a plain room. A neat 
little piece for two Dutch players, introducing songs and dances. Time of per- 
formance, 15 to 30 minutes, at the pleasure of the performers. 

49. DER TWO SURPRISES. A Dutch Farce in one act, byM. A. D. Clifton, 

I male, 1 female character. Costumes, peasant's, and old man's and bid woman'3 
dress. Scene, a kitchen. A very neat little sketch, introducing songs and 
dances. Time of performance, about twenty minutes. 

50. HAMLET. A Tragedy in five acts, by Shakespeare, 15 male, 3 female 
characters. Probably no other play by the immortal Shakespeare is produced 
as frequently as this one. It needs no 'description. Time of performance about 
two hours aiid thirty minutes. 

51. RESCUED. A Temperance Drama in two acts, by Clayton H. Gilbert, 5 
male, 3 female characters. This play visibly depicts the dangerous consequen- 
ces of falling into bad company, the follies of the intoxicating bowl, and shows 
that even the pure love of a noble girl will be sacrificed to the accursed appetite. 
The solemn scenes are balanced by the funny portions, and all in all the play 
is a grand success. Costumes modern. Scenes, interiors some neatly and some 
handsomely furnished. Time of performance one hour. 

52. EENR y GRANDEN. A Drama in three acts, by Frank Lester Bingham, 

II male, 8 female characters. This drama is sensational in a high degree, 
abounding in thrilling scenes among the Indians, hair breadth escapes, etc. It 
should be purchased by every dramatic company that wish something to suit the 
public. Costumes not hard to arrange. Time of performance two hours. 



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53. UT IN THE STREETS. A Temperance Drama in three acts, t»y S. N. 
C!ook, 6 male, 4 female characters. Wherever this drama has been produced it 
has been received with the greatest entkusiasm. Listeners have been melted to 
tears at the troubles of Mrs. Bradford, and in the next scene been convulsed 
with laughter at the drolleries of North Carolina Pete. Costumes modern. 
Scenes, interiors. Time of performance, about one hour. 

54. THE TWO T. J's. A Farce in one act, by INIartin Beecher, 4 male, 2 fe- 
male characters. Costumes of the day ; scene an ordinary room. This is a cap- 
ital farce and has two male characters excellent for light and low comedians. 
Good parts also for old and young lady. Time of performance thirty minutes. 

55. SOMEBODY'S NOBODY. A Farce in one act and one scene, b?' C. A. 
Maltby, 3 male. 2 female characters. Scene, interior. Easily arranged n any 
parlor or hall, as it can be produced without scenery. Costumes modern with 
the exception of Dick Mizzle's which is hostler's and afterwards extravagant 
fashionable. This most laughable farce was first produced at the Drury Lane 
Theater, London, where it had a run of one hundred and fifty consecutive 
nights. It is all comic, and has excellont parts for old man, walU in g gent, low 
comedy, walking lady and chambermaid. Time of performance, 30 minutes. 

56. WOOING UNDER DIFFICULTIES. A Farce in one act and one scene, 
by John T. Douglass, 4 male, 3 female characters. Scene, handsomely furnished 
apartment. Costumes of the day. Probably no poor fellow ever wooed under 
more distressing difficulties than the one in this farce. It all comes about 
through a serious misunderstanding. A crusty old man, and a quarrelsome and 
very important servant go to make the farce extremely funny. Time of per- 
formance thirty minutes, 

57. PADDY MILES' BOY. An Irish Farce in one act, by James Pilgrim, 5 
male, 2 female characters. Scenes, exteriors and interiors. Costumes eccentric, 
and Irish for Paddy. Probably there is not an Irish farce published so often 
presented as this one, but it is always a favorite and is always received with 
great applause. Time of performance 35 minutes. 

58. WRECKED. A Temperance play in two acts, by A. D. Ames, 9 male, 3 fe- 
male characters. Scenes, arawing room, saloon, street and j ail. Costumes mod- 
ern. The lessons learned in this drama are most excellent. The language is 
pure, containing nothing to otfend the most refined ear. From the comfortable 
home and pleasant fireside, it follows the downward course of the drunkard to 
the end. All this is followed by counterfeiting, the death of the faithful wife 
caused by a blow from the hand of a drunken husband, and finally the death of 
the drunkard in the madhouse. Time of performance about one hour. 

59. SA VED. A Temperance Sketch in two acts, by Edwin Tardy, 2 male, 3 
female characters. Scenes, street and plain room. Nicely adapted to amatuers, 
Time of performance twenty minutes. 

60. DRIVEN TO THE WALL, OR TRUE TO THE LAST. A Play in four 
acts, by A. D. Ames. 10 male and 3 female characters. For beauty of dialogue, 
startling situations, depths of feeling there is none on the American Stage supe- 
rior to this one. The plot is an exceedingly deep one, and the interest begins 
with the first speech, and does not for a moment cease until the curtain falls on 
the last scene of the last act. The cast is small and the costumes easily arranged. 
It can be played on any stage. It has parts for Leading Emotional Lady, Juve- 
nile Lady, Leading Man, Villain, Character Old Man. First Old Man, Comedy, etc. 

61. NOT AS DEAF AS HE SEE3IS. An Ethiopean Farce in one act. 2 
male characters. Scene, a plain room. Costumes exagerated and comic. Ex- 
tremely ridiculous and funny. Time of performance 15 minutes. 

62. TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR-ROOM. A Temperance Play in five acts, by 
Wm. W. Pratt, from T. S. Arther's novel of the same name— 7 male, 3 female 
characters. This edition is rewritten, containing many new points, and is the 
best ever presented to the public. Nothing need be said in its praise, as it is too 
•well known. It is often played, and always successfully. Time of performance 
about two hours. 

63. THREE GLASSES A DAY, Or, The Broken Home. A grand Moral and 
Temperance Drama, in two acts, by W. Henri Wilkins, 4 male, 2 female charact- 
ers. Costumes modern. Scenes, interiors. First-class characters for Leading 
Man, Villain, a genuine down-east Yankee, which is also very funny ; also Lead- 
ing Lady, and a tip-top Comedy Lady. If a company wishes something with an 
excellent moral, at the same time running over with genuine humor, buy this. 
Time of performance about one hour and thirty minutes. 



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64. THAT BOY SAM. An Ethioican Farce in one act, by F. L. Cutler. 8 
male, 1 fpmak- chanHur. i-cone, a r^fin ^f cm and comrooD furrilure. C^- 
tujiies, coniio, to suit the characters. Yery funny, and effoctiially gives the 
troubles of a "colored gal" in trying to have a beau, and the pranks of "that boy 
Sara." Time of performance twenty minutes. 

65. AN UNWl ]J:031E liLTlBN. A Comic Interlude, in one act, by Geo. 
A. Munson. 8 male, 1 fcinrlc cl.nracter. Scene, a dining room. Costumes, 
modern. Companies will find this a very amusing piece, two recroes being very 
funny— enough t^o to keep an audience in the best of humor. Time of perform- 
j^nce, twenty minutes. 

66. HANS, THE DUTCH J. P. A Dutch Farce in one act, by F. L. Cutler, 
3 maleTl female character. An exceedingly funry piece. Hans figures as a 
Justice in the absence of his master, and his exploits are extremely ludncouB. 
Costumes modern. Scene, plain room. Time of performar.ce,twenty minutes. 

67. THE FALSE FRIEND. A Drama in two acts, by Geo. S. Vautrot. 6 
male, 1 female eharact( r. Simple scenery and eostumes. First class characters 
for leading man, old man, villain, a rollicking Irishman, etc. also a good lead- 
ing lady. This drama is one of thrilling interest, and dramatic companies wiU 
invariably be pleased with it. Time of performance, one hour and forty-five 
minutes. 

68. THE SHAM PROFESSOR. A Farce in one act, by F. L. Cutler. 4 male 
characters. This intenselv funnv afterpiece can be produced by any company. 
The chanicters are all firs't class, and the "colored individual" is especially fun- 
ny. Scene, a plain room. Costumes, simple. Time of performance, about 
twenty minutes. 

69. MOTHER'S FOOL. A Farce in one act, by W. Henri Wilkins. 6 male, 
1 female character. Like all of Mr. Wil'^ins' plays, this is first class. The 
characters are all well drawn, it is very amusing, and proves an immense suc- 
cess wherever produced. Scene, a simple room. Costumes modern. Time of 
performance, thirty minutes. 

70 WHICH WILL HE 3IARRY. A Farce in one act, by Thomas Egerton 
Wilks. 2 male, 8 female characters. Scene, a street. Costumes modern. Easi- 
ly arranged on anv sta2;e. A barber hears that one of eight women has fallen 
heir to some money, not knowing which, he makes love to them all. This, to- 
gether with the revenge the females have upon him, will prove laughable enough 
to suit anv one. Time of representation, thirty minutes. 

71 THE REWARD OF CRIME, OR THE LOVE OF GOLD. A Drama of 
Vermonr, in two acts, by W. Henri Wilkins. .5 male, ?> female characters. A 
drama from the pen of this author is sufficient guarantee of its excellence. 
Characters for old man, 1st and 2d heavy men, juvenile. A splendid Yankee, 
livelv enough to suit anv one. Old woman, juvenile woman, and comedy. 
Coftumes modern. Scene, plain rooms and street. Time of performance, one 
hour and thirty minutes. Easily placed upon the stage, and a great favorite 
with amatuers. 

72. THE DETjCE IS IN HIM. A Farce in one act, by K. J. Raymond. 6 
maie, 1 female character. Scene, a plain room. Costumes modern. This farce 
is easily arranged, and can be produced on any stage, in fact, m a parlor, ihe 
pranks of the doctor's boy will keep an audience in roars of laughter,^ every line 
being full of fun. Time "of performance, thirty minutes. Order this, and you 
will be pleased. 

73 AT LAST. A Temperance Drama in three acts, by G. S. Vautrot. 7 male 
1 female character. This is one of the most effective teiiiperance plays ever pub- 
lished Good characters for leading man, 1st and 2d villain, a detective, old 
man, a Yankee, and a capital negro, also leading lady. The temptations of city 
life are faithfully depicted, the efi;'cts of gambling, strong dnuk, etc. Eyery 
com])anv that orders it will produce it. Costumes modern. Scene, Mobile. 
Time of performance, one hour and thirty minutes. 

74 HOW TO TAME YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW. A Farce in one act, by 
Henry J. Bvron. 4 male, 2 female characters. Scene, parlor, supposed to be in 
the rear of a'grocers shop. Costumes modern. Whiffles the proprietor of the 
grocery, has a mother-in-law who is always interfering with his busit)-s~. Vari- 
ous expedients are resorted to to cure her— a mutual friend is calleu i '^'i?' 97 
the aid of various disguises frightens the old lady nearly to death, fin..,.y Whif- 
fles gets on a "ge-lorious drunk," and at last triumphs. A perfect success. 
Time of performance, thirty-five minutes. 



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AJflES' SrA.lfl>ARO AMI> MII^OR JttRAMA, 



16. THE SERF. A Tragedy, in five acts, by R. Talbot Esq.. 6 males, 3 fe- 
male chanicters. Good parts for 1st and 2nd Tragedian, and Tragic lady, llie 
character of Ossip is very powerfully drawn. The history of his early love— ot 
his marriage— the indignities he is made to suffer, and the death of his wife, is 

" - '•■ " ,_-..^_. ..„j .1 venge are unfolded with a 

2 hours and a half. 



highly wrought ; and his sarcastic levity and deep revenge ai 
terrible earnestness. Scene, apartments in castle. Time about 



17 HINTS ON ELOCUTION AND HOW TO BECOME AN ACTOR. This ^ 
valuable work has just been published, and contains valuable instructions that ^ 
amateur actors, and every one that ever expect to make a favorable appearance (^ 
in uublic, cannot do without it. It teaches you how to become a good and et- ^) 
iicient reader, reciter, debater, a good actor, how to hold an audience silent, and ^ 
treats on every subject that is necessary to be acquired in order to become a J 
good and pleasing actor. (^ 

18 THE POACHER'S DOOM. A Drama in 3 acts, curtailed and arranged ^ 
bv A. D. Ames, 8 male, and 3 female characters. A thrilling drama, always a .^ 
fa'vorite. Leading man, viliiau, two comedies, old man, loading lady, comedy ^ 
lady, etc. Costumes modern. Tlie situations in this play, are most excellent. ^ 
Time of performance, 1 hour and a half. ^ 

19 DID I DREAM IT ^ A Farce in one act by J. P. Wooler. 4 male, 3 fe- >r 
male characters. Scene, drawing room. The question "Did I Dream it" is what ^ 
the farce is founded upon. Very strange things happen, and a nice httle love ^^ 
scrape helps to color the plot. A good piece. Costumes simple, lime ot per- ^ 
forniauce4o minutes. ^^1 

20 A TICKET OF LEA VE. A Farce in one act, by Watts Phillips, 3 male, ^ 
2 female characters. A plav written by this author is sufficient guarantee ot ^J^ 
its excellence. Scene, a sitting room, plain furniture. Costumes modern, lime •^J 
of performance, 35 minutes. This is an excellent farce. ^ 

21 A ROMANTIC* ATTACHMENT. A CmnoUietta in one act, by Arthur y^ 
Wood 3 male, 3 female characters. A most excellent little play, well adapted ^' 
for school exhibitions, lodges, aniatuers, etc. The scenery is .simple, being a y 
plain roiiui, is ahvays a favorite with every company whicJi plays it. lime oi V) 
perform a ij ce, 3rt minutes. y. 

■» CiPTAIN SMITH. A Farce in one act, by E. Berrie, 3 male, 3 female ^ 

ehanu'ters. Tnis excLllei.llittle farce is equally well adapted for school exhi- U 

bitions, etc., as No. 21. The dialogue is sparkling, n..t a dull speech Irom be- O 

ginning to end. The plot simple, the piece easily perlormed. Soene, a plain «) 

i-dom. Costumes modern. Time of pei-fornumce, 30 ml^ut(^'<. CI' 

•>5 J]! V HEART'S IN THE HIGHLANDS. A Farce in one act, by Wil- H 

lia'ni Bn.ugh and Andrew Halliday, 4 male, 3 female characters Scene, exte- ( 

riur of house in tiie lligiilands. Costumes, simple Highland, lliis farce is eas- ^ 

ily produced and verv elJective is full of fun, caused by the mishaps of two char- fW 

act('r> who uo Ir.nn the city to the country, and do not know a pig from a roe- (f ) 

buck, nor a turkey from an ostrich. Time of performance, 25 minutes. rji) 

•M ' HA^^DY ANDY. An Ethiopean Farce in one act, 2 male characters. i) 

.Scene a ki'tclien. Costumes, exagerated and comic. Thii <limeultiesin procu- (1^ 

ring a good and suitable servant are most ludicrously set iorlh in this larce. (( ; 

Tiine of performance, 2U minutes. ( > 

25 SPORT WITH A SPORTSMAN. An Ethiopean Farce, in one act, 2 i) 

male characters. Costumes, exagerated sportsman's dress, and boyish dress. Cl) 

Scene, a wood. Time of representation, 20 minutes. A tip top negro tarce. (f ; 

'>G THE HUNTER OF THE ALPS. A Drama in one act, by William CI? 

Dimond, D male, 4 female characters. Scene in-door and forest. Costumes, <( . 

Swiss Kosalvi, the hunter of the Alps leaves his home to procure provisi-.ns to c J 

keep ids wile and children from starving, meets Felix, a lord, and dymai.ds, (J) 

and liually implores 01 him money. Felix moved with compassion gives him (R 

monev and goes with him to his hut, and there discovers tliey are brotboa-s. (< j 

ThcrJis some line comedy in it. The story is beautifully told, lime of per- ^ 

formaijce 1 hour. (t) 

•>7 FFTTER LANE TO GRAVESEND. An Ethiopean Farce >n one act, ( j) 

•> male characters. Scene, plain room. Costume, exagerated and comic. The (( ) 

two characters, Ike and Hystericks are very funny, and will keep an audience J) 

in roars of laughter. Short, easily produced, and a tip top larce. lime oi per- ^ 

furuiiuice 15 minutes. Ct> 



A. D. AMES, PQBLISHER, CLYDE, 0. 



OVR BTfSLYESS-WHAT WE DO. 

PLATS. We sell everything in the line of dramas and farces, and call 
th.) attention of our iiunieroiiss patrons to our own list. We think it em- 
braces play which will suit either professional or amateur companies. If 
howevt-r you need si meihing, put)lished elsewhere, do not hesitate to send 
us your orders — our stock is very large, awd we fill promptly.- Stocks of 
every publisher on hand, 

LETTERS OF INQUIRY i\ns\\'ered promptly, and we solicitcorrespond- 
euce. if the business upon which you write concerns you alone, enclose a 
3 cent stamp for reply. Amateurs who are puzzled upon any questions 
relative to the stage will be answered explicitly, and to the best of our abil- 
ity. 

'manuscript PLAYS. Parties who have Mss. to dispose of should 
wi'ite to us. We will publish whatever may be meritorious, on terms which 
will be Satisfactory. 

SHEET MUSIC. Orders for sheet music, or music books will be re- 
ceived and filled as promptly as possible. 

C^4 2MiO(T6''^.S' will be sent free to any address. Send a postal card, 
with yourfiddress, and the catalogue will be sent by the next mail. 

HOW TO ORDER. It would perhaps seem to every one that any di- 
roctitins as to 'how to order' plaj's was entirely superfluous ; but not so. 
We have many instances, and remember to have be^n severely censured by 
piuties, some < f whom failed to sign their name to their order, or failed to 
write the st:ite, etc. In the first place, begin your order with the name ol 
your post ofiice, county and state. If you order from our list, it is not nec- 
(•s:>ary to designate, only by giving the name of the play ; but if from the 
lists of other publisher's, state the publishers name, if you know it. Do 
not write your letters of inquiry on the same sheet with your orders, and 
make the order always as brief as possible. When completed do not fail to 
.'iK pi your vnme very plainly.. Attention to these rules will '.nsure the filling 
of your orders, by return mail. Postage stamps of the denomination of 1, 
2 aiid 3 cents, will be taken in any amount less than $3.00. 

PLAYS TO SUIT COMPANIES. Amateur companies frequently hare 
Ironble in jirocuring Plays well adapted to their wants, frequently ordering 
perhaps five dollar's worth in single copies, before anything suitable ean 
lie found. All this can be done away with. Our catalogue embraces playa 
suitable for any and all companies, andif our friends will write to us, state- 
iiig the requirements of their conipanies, there need be n-^ troul)le, in this 
line at least, if a temperance society wants plays, we have something for 
then.1. If n couipany wants something which is very funny, we can suit 
tiieni. In t'ict. we have dramas, farces, tragedies and comedies which vnll 
suit you. Enclo.se 15 cents per coi)y, for as many copies iis you may need, 
an<l we gu,u-antee to suit you, if you will state the size of your company, 
and whelli r best adopleil to the serious or funny. Give us a trial at least. 

MAGNESIUM TADLEA U LlixUTS. There is scarcely a person who 
has not been annoved by the smoking of colored fires, which are so often 
used on tableaux, and whole scenes in dramas have I eeii ruined l)y the 
coughing and noise always attendant on their use. We earnestly reconi- 
meinl the use of the Magnesium lighl.«. They can be ignited with a common 
match,' and burn with womh-rful lirilliancy. There is no danger in their use; 
they make no smoke and aie cheai». Price, 25 cents each, by mail, post 
]>!ii<l. Those who do not know how to burn them, will be instructed by 
addressing the publisher. 



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